15 Things My Mother Taught Me!

[The Dragon Master]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:

If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!



2. My mother taught me RELIGION:

You better pray that will come out of the carpet.



3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:

If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!



4. My mother taught me LOGIC:

Because I said so, that's why!



5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:

Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.



6. My mother taught me IRONY:

Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about.



7. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS:

Shut your mouth and eat your supper!



8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:

Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!



9. My mother taught me about STAMINA:

You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished.



10. My mother taught me about WEATHER:

It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.



11. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:

If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?



12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!



13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:

I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.



14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

Stop acting like your father!



15. My mother taught me about ENVY:

There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!

 

[Jazzy]

 

[JasonBegheFanGirl]

 

[Evil Eye]

Brilliant.

 

[Corleone]

Reminds me of someone in my family..... oh yeah! My mom..

 

[Akwardmeerkat]