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Being cheated on
- Thread starter Jazzy
- Start date
I don't know, sometimes these things are not that simple and clear cut.
The reason why I would tell my friend. Is because I was cheated on no one told me anything about it. All my friends stood by and let it hit me like a brick wall. I really wish someone had come forward. Seems people think of being shot as the messenger. When I would have appreciated their concern as a friend to tell me. But when it happened to me. It showed me who my friends were. A lot of people I'm not friends with today, and it makes it very hard to be honest with those friends about anything when you know what they are capable of as they do things for their own benefit.
I actually had a friend whose girlfriend cheated on him early on in the relationship. She kissed someone else.
She admitted it after someone slipped up in front of me and I vowed never to tell him. I felt bad but also stuck in the middle of two people. I didn't want to cause issues for something so early on in the relationship. My friend cheated on her later on in the relationship with a girl who I must be honest liked a little bit and I turned around and said "It's okay because your partner has cheated on you too." I said it out of spite and anger. I think my friend was unaware I liked her though.
This caused a lot of repercussions. It can also backfire. Of course, his girlfriend denied everything and luckily my friend believed me over her. I was being a bastard and wanted to make him feel shit. It was a little hypocritical though, on his side.
She admitted it after someone slipped up in front of me and I vowed never to tell him. I felt bad but also stuck in the middle of two people. I didn't want to cause issues for something so early on in the relationship. My friend cheated on her later on in the relationship with a girl who I must be honest liked a little bit and I turned around and said "It's okay because your partner has cheated on you too." I said it out of spite and anger. I think my friend was unaware I liked her though.
This caused a lot of repercussions. It can also backfire. Of course, his girlfriend denied everything and luckily my friend believed me over her. I was being a bastard and wanted to make him feel shit. It was a little hypocritical though, on his side.
If I can say with confidence that which I know is true then I speak it. I do realize that I might suffer for it if the person is unwilling to believe the truth because it's not what they want it to be but in time they will see it for what it is and will be glad that their friend cared about them so much that they were more interested in their well being then their own. It is important though that it be said out of love and not hate for either or what you say will not surely not be accepted by your friend.
Nebulous said:Jazzy said:
Counter question:
If you knew for sure your best friend was cheating on his/her partner... would you tell the partner? Why/Why not?
Yes. Regardless, they deserve to know. And any friend who gets upset at you for spilling the beans (if they find out), is a huge piece of shit who deserves whatever's coming to them.
If it was my best friend and I knew they were being cheated on then yes I would tell them, it would only feel right for me to do so if I am honest and I feel they would respect me more for doing so. Once I had told them it would be up to them to deal with it.
Nebulous said:Jazzy said:
Counter question:
If you knew for sure your best friend was cheating on his/her partner... would you tell the partner? Why/Why not?
I would and I have in the past. My reasons for doing so are complicated.
I know for a fact my best friend is being cheated on? Sure...I'd tell them. And, be prepared for the inevitable "shooting of the messenger", knowing that our friendship may never survive it.
Tell my best friend's significant other that my best friend is cheating on them? Nah. There's privilege - and responsibility - with the label "best friend".
Would I talk to my best friend about how shitty they're being, being a cheater? Absolutely.
Tell my best friend's significant other that my best friend is cheating on them? Nah. There's privilege - and responsibility - with the label "best friend".
Would I talk to my best friend about how shitty they're being, being a cheater? Absolutely.
Say your spouse is talking to someone on the internet so .. Do you think it's wrong to chat with the opposite sex and hide it from you and keep it so secretive should that person worry ? Or is that person jealous ?
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