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Have you ever been jealous of a friend?
- Thread starter MrDawn
- Start date
I really struggled with feeling left out when I experienced a lot of setbacks in life. I started getting invited less because I didn't always have the cash anymore to go places, being out of a vehicle, etc. Even though I never treated anyone differently when they were in that boat and I wasn't, and I made every effort to include them and go out to see them if they weren't able to go anywhere. Not everything has to cost money, but still when setbacks happened to me... everyone just forgot I existed or treat me differently. 
So when I'd get ghosted on, or plans canceled, and see them posting on their story knowing I can view it, out with their friends after canceling plans with me.. I definitely felt jealous, it was pretty baffling, I thought I'd chosen the right friends, but - nope. The jealousy was more about myself when I had everything, I would often think about how back then I was valued and important enough to be treated right, even if those people's reasons for being around me were superficial. People for sure just throw around the word "friend" very loosely. They will have dozens to pick and choose from for their benefit. And me, I don't keep a roster of friends, if I call someone my friend then I mean it and treat them as such.
So when I'd get ghosted on, or plans canceled, and see them posting on their story knowing I can view it, out with their friends after canceling plans with me.. I definitely felt jealous, it was pretty baffling, I thought I'd chosen the right friends, but - nope. The jealousy was more about myself when I had everything, I would often think about how back then I was valued and important enough to be treated right, even if those people's reasons for being around me were superficial. People for sure just throw around the word "friend" very loosely. They will have dozens to pick and choose from for their benefit. And me, I don't keep a roster of friends, if I call someone my friend then I mean it and treat them as such.
NO . Never have
Yes. Recently. A friend got approved for bottom surgery while I'm stuck here unable to get health coverage for it and will never have the ability to afford it. I'm happy for her, don't get me wrong, but I'm so fucking envious, too. Makes me feel stuck, as stupid as it sounds.
Gotta love how unfair the medical system is in the US, which reminds me... I need to call them about some bs that they're trying to make me pay for.
Yep, total horseshit. Hopefully you can get that sorted out!Gotta love how unfair the medical system is in the US, which reminds me... I need to call them about some bs that they're trying to make me pay for.
Nothing can be done about it today. Their manager is out on vacation. They told me that I'll have to wait till Tuesday...
Ugh, should be more than one person in an office that can handle situations like that, so frustrating!
No, I have always supported and been there for my friends and never jealous of them, and unfortunately, looking back that feeling was not reciprocated and it has lead to a lot of hurt in my life as I look back on it.
As for why I have never been jealous, I'll leave you with the wise, and immortal words from Ms. Keri Hilson.
She really put into to words the emotions I went through and were bullied for in school by both kids and teachers for that reason. The teacher that abused me called me an ugly duckling in class, and the name stuck as it did irreparable harm to my self esteem as a little girl and the name stuck for that reason. The hate started the day after my mom showed up at a PTA meeting, and caught the attention of the principal and much of the male staff while doing so, and then abused me on picture day after the photos were taken. I was often bullied in school because of how beautiful my Mom is, and when things came to blows, I was the better fighter when I defended myself, and the result of that was the guys I liked, called me "Iron Mike" which made me more comfortable with being a tom boy and I fit in with them and the girls as they didn't see me as competition since I wasn't , until puberty hit me like an atom bomb and the boys now wanted something else and the girls hated me and bullied me too.
But going back to after that attack from my teacher, I was left with permanent scars on my face, which, while they seem invisible now, (based on the attention I've gotten since then) are still there, but back then, I figured that since I would never be considered pretty, that I could always be intelligent, and though that has helped me get very far in life, it still led to me being abused, even in adulthood, and I often have to inform people that with me, there is a lot more to me than what they see, and to tread carefully, even now, since I have moved up here.
It is funny how clever the people up here think they act a certain way toward me, not knowing that from my perspective its like a bunny playing around snake. But even as I recall this, I still felt worse for those that were jealous be it of my Mom or myself, and I wouldn't want to be in their position and be driven by their hate to do the horrific things to me they did. I can't imagine being that full of hate and then attacking an innocent child because of it. So even though I was often the target of their rage, they were the ones left with the brunt of the consequences.
Anyway, I honestly didn't like the song at first, but when I saw the video, I got chills, because as a history nerd, I immediately knew who the women she paid tribute to were and I truly loved and respected the fact that she beautifully showed respect to some of the most beautiful Black women in American history. And the fact that she was able to write a song so needed and so powerful, while also condensing the complex emotions, and these beautiful women in American history to the 4:14 just shows her talent as a songwriter (even being while being bullied by the industry for her looks by those who sit atop the record companies, whilst literally being behind some of the biggest artists and songs in music history, even for Britney Spears, et. al,) and artist. And as a Black woman, I completely understand why she felt the need to write this song.
Anyway, enjoy the video.
As for why I have never been jealous, I'll leave you with the wise, and immortal words from Ms. Keri Hilson.
She really put into to words the emotions I went through and were bullied for in school by both kids and teachers for that reason. The teacher that abused me called me an ugly duckling in class, and the name stuck as it did irreparable harm to my self esteem as a little girl and the name stuck for that reason. The hate started the day after my mom showed up at a PTA meeting, and caught the attention of the principal and much of the male staff while doing so, and then abused me on picture day after the photos were taken. I was often bullied in school because of how beautiful my Mom is, and when things came to blows, I was the better fighter when I defended myself, and the result of that was the guys I liked, called me "Iron Mike" which made me more comfortable with being a tom boy and I fit in with them and the girls as they didn't see me as competition since I wasn't , until puberty hit me like an atom bomb and the boys now wanted something else and the girls hated me and bullied me too.
But going back to after that attack from my teacher, I was left with permanent scars on my face, which, while they seem invisible now, (based on the attention I've gotten since then) are still there, but back then, I figured that since I would never be considered pretty, that I could always be intelligent, and though that has helped me get very far in life, it still led to me being abused, even in adulthood, and I often have to inform people that with me, there is a lot more to me than what they see, and to tread carefully, even now, since I have moved up here.
It is funny how clever the people up here think they act a certain way toward me, not knowing that from my perspective its like a bunny playing around snake. But even as I recall this, I still felt worse for those that were jealous be it of my Mom or myself, and I wouldn't want to be in their position and be driven by their hate to do the horrific things to me they did. I can't imagine being that full of hate and then attacking an innocent child because of it. So even though I was often the target of their rage, they were the ones left with the brunt of the consequences.
Anyway, I honestly didn't like the song at first, but when I saw the video, I got chills, because as a history nerd, I immediately knew who the women she paid tribute to were and I truly loved and respected the fact that she beautifully showed respect to some of the most beautiful Black women in American history. And the fact that she was able to write a song so needed and so powerful, while also condensing the complex emotions, and these beautiful women in American history to the 4:14 just shows her talent as a songwriter (even being while being bullied by the industry for her looks by those who sit atop the record companies, whilst literally being behind some of the biggest artists and songs in music history, even for Britney Spears, et. al,) and artist. And as a Black woman, I completely understand why she felt the need to write this song.
Anyway, enjoy the video.
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