When the Most Personal Secrets Get Outed on Facebook

[Jazzy]

Bobbi Duncan desperately wanted her father not to know she is lesbian. Facebook told him anyway.



One evening last fall, the president of the Queer Chorus, a choir group she had recently joined, inadvertently exposed Ms. Duncan's sexuality to her nearly 200 Facebook friends, including her father, by adding her to a Facebook Inc. discussion group. That night, Ms. Duncan's father left vitriolic messages on her phone, demanding she renounce same-sex relationships, she says, and threatening to sever family ties.



The 22-year-old cried all night on a friend's couch. I felt like someone had hit me in the stomach with a bat, she says.



Soon, she learned that another choir member, Taylor McCormick, had been outed the very same way, upsetting his world as well.



The president of the chorus, a student organization at the University of Texas campus here, had added Ms. Duncan and Mr. McCormick to the choir's Facebook group. The president didn't know the software would automatically tell their Facebook friends that they were now members of the chorus.



The two students were casualties of a privacy loophole on Facebook—the fact that anyone can be added to a group by a friend without their approval. As a result, the two lost control over their secrets, even though both were sophisticated users who had attempted to use Facebook's privacy settings to shield some of their activities from their parents.



Today, Ms. Duncan has her first girlfriend. I am in a really good place, she says, but wouldn't want anybody to have her experience. I blame Facebook, she says. It shouldn't be somebody else's choice what people see of me.

Full article



I love how people blame Facebook. If you don't want people to know your personal business, stay the hell off the internet!



Your thoughts?

 

[Bluezone777]

If you hate your children for doing what you see as a mistake then you have failed as a parent and should renounce any hold of the title as you don't deserve it.



As for Facebook, it's not a place to keep secrets but to expose them. If this isn't a reason to ditch Facebook if you somehow thought it would be a good idea to join it then I don't know what is. I like how it seems many websites have forced Facebook on you by demanding you have an account to comment on articles on some news sites or to like a page to download some music. The day that site shuts its doors would be a good day for everyone though I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

 

[seasidemike]

people tend to forget that facebook, twitter and other forms of social networks are exactly that; social network.

there is nothing private about them

if you put it out there, it is for all to see

 

[Evil Eye]

I'm not sure how you can blame Facebook for this (or anyone, really). It's not entirely reasonable to expect them to anticipate something like this to happen. Though now that it has caused trouble, they should change it.

If you don't want people to know your personal business, stay the hell off the internet!

Like that'll keep everyone from knowing.

 

[Jazzy]

Like that'll keep everyone from knowing.

It would have prevented her father from finding out, no?

 

[Evil Eye]

It would have prevented her father from finding out, no?

In the short term, probably.