To some people, they say adoption or having your own is "the same", but I wonder if they are saying that because it's expected for them to say it or if they truly feel that way. I think that the bond with my Dragons is not something I would have with an adopted child. We were the couple that did not "get pregnant from being pointed at", and I considered adopting at the time because having our own didn't seem to work out - our youngest is with a little help from the hospital, the oldest after 6 years of wanting him to arrive, and the age difference is not by choice.
Before I had them, I thought it basically was "the same", adoption or giving birth. My hesitance for adoption was because it's a very expensive process before they even allow you to have an adoptive child, and these days, only children with disabilities are adopted out (there are nearly no adoptions within the country, almost all adoptions are Chinese babies these days, and China has a policy to only give up disabled children to other countries, and usually complicated disabilities). For a "standard" couple, dealing with that can be hard. I mean, your own child can have an accident and become disabled, or be born that way also, but, willingly choose for a child that will be extra hard on yourself and on your partner... That's something else. You may be unable to both work and have to live on a single income (not easy in itself, society is made for double income families). Then there's the child that constantly needs help here or there. No days off from caregiving, because it doesn't go away for a day. You have to admire the people who knowingly choose for that, because every child deserves a family, and they want to be in that child's life, even if it complicates their own.
Since I have my Dragons, I think it also would not have been the same. I recognize parts of myself in them. It is easier to understand their feelings because they are in part like me when I was younger. I.e., I can handle their bad behaviour better because I understand where it's coming from. My nieces and nephew are less like that even though they're fairly close family even. I took them places when they were younger, too, and it was different from taking the Dragons. They were different, and I don't have that kind of thing that I have with my own. And yes, of course, they aren't mine and I don't see them fulltime, but still, I'd say it's different, and I think adoption also always will. You can love an adoptive child, wish the best for them, support them and whatever, but it will never truly be the same as your own, I think.
Nebulous
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