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Being pressured into volunteering
- Thread starter KO896
- Start date
I finally learned how to say NO about 10 years ago. It's hard though and people still try to put me on a guilt trip (I'm not talking about online but in real life experiences. I'm dealing with a woman at my church who isn't satisfied with the amount (or little amount) of things I do for the congregation. She is sly in how she words it, so it's not direct, but she stares at me as she says things.
Ugh, people like that are annoying. Either be direct or be quiet, don't be passive aggressive and dodge the issue. If you need help or need someone to step up, say something. I can imagine you do plenty as it is, you're a very giving person by nature!
Thanks for understanding. I get along with her more than most people and even when we "get into it", we still are very friendly afterward. I know her character by now, even though she's very extreme at times. I don't do as much as she does at the church, but she lives 2 minutes away and I live 35-50 minutes away. I'm not about to volunteer for everything and am more comfortable selecting roles that I enjoy doing.
She sounds a bit like a busybody, sadly, and yeah, I would say that's completely understandable, it's a quick trip for her to get there, but it's a minimum of an hour round trip for you, so you can't realistically be expected to be as involved. I think it's perfect fair to pick the roles you enjoy doing, it's an effort to get there, it needs to be worthwhile!
Not had that experience so far. But I am into reaching out to the needy I have a Trust and of the various activities what I like the most is to throw a party at Christmas time for poor kids and seniors from an old age home.
I don't do well being pressured to do things I don't want to do. I have often ended up quitting. My mother's church for one, she had me volunteering over there when I was a young adult and that blew up in her face. I don't do religion or do anything for free unless you're close family or a friend of mine.
yeah, I think that's perfectly reasonable. If it's something you can't work with, or someone you can't work with, then you have no motivation to keep going. As I said, I'm weak, so I get pulled into a lot of things, and a lot of them don't resonate with me, so it isn't a great situation, but I'll always try. If you're strong enough to tell them no, definitely do it. Don't be a door mat!
