cheesy pick-up line?

[Nebulous]

What’s your favorite cheesy pick-up line?

Have you ever used it for real?

 

[Jazzy]

Never used a cheesy pick-up line. I have, however, heard enough of them to make me a big thick grilled cheese sandwich right now.

 

[Smiley]

Not really my favorites, but I find them humorous, so here you go:

Spoiler

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

I like every bone in your body, especially mine.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?

Baby, I'm like milk. I'll do your body good.

Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

Hey baby, let's play army. I'll lay down you can blow me up.

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in-between the holidays?

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

If you were a car door I would slam you all night long.

Baby, you're so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out.

You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.

Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.

My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!

I'd look good on you.

When does your centerfold come out?

So do ya wanna see something really swell?

I've seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.

You have nice legs. What time do they open?

Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?

Hey, that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it?

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're a bomb!

Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you have fine written all over you.

If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?

Hey baby, I'm like a Rubix cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?


How about some religious-themed?


FOR CHRISTIANS:

Young lady, can I interest you in a supper? I promise it won't be the last.

What's a pretty girl like you doing in a confession line?

Tomorrow is Sunday. Your parish or my parish?

Be careful not to break God's 5th commandment, 'cause you have killer looks.

You like Jesus? Then we have a lot in common.

If I were to kiss you on the cheek, would you turn the other one?

God was showing off when he created you.

Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives. Because he never met you.

For you I would slay two Goliaths.

You float my ark.

Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you?

So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and I realized... I don't have yours!

I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.

If we were around with Noah... then you, me... pair.

I put the "stud" in bible study.

I didn't know angels flew this low.

I'm no Joseph... perhaps you can help me interpreting the dreams I've been having about you?

Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

Want to practice speaking in tongues with me?

Here's my number... Call me if you need prayer.

What's your name and number so I can add you to my "prayer" list?

I'm usually not very prophetic, but I can see us together.

I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder.



FOR JEWS:

You had me at Shalom.

I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath. It's to give a girl like you a rest from running through my mind the rest of the week.

Can I put out your burning bush?

Do you want something to attone for on yom kippur?

Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes.

I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years.

Once you go Jew, nothing else will do.

Do you want to shake my luluv?

If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?

God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak.

You must not be kosher for passover because you're making my matza rise.

Lets do it Adam and Eve style - behind some bushes.

Do you want to try my hebrew national hotdog?

Do you wanna spin my dreidel?

Can I come into your massada?

Which commandment do you want to break?

Want to party in my sukkah?

Are you Jewish? Cause the way you're looking at me, I'm beginning to think Jewish I would kiss you.

My apples are just dying for your honey!

Don't worry I won't passover you.

I'll take you to the promised land.

Can I go into your garden of Eden?

Can I light your manorah?

Are you the massiah, beacuse I've been waiting for you.

God just told me there was going to be a flood and I've decided to save you.

Are you the milk or the honey I was promised?

That's a nice-looking yarmulke you're wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning.

Got any Jewish in you? No? Want some?

All I want for Channukah is you.

Let me see your shirt tag. That's right, made in Eden.

The first line of the Shma commands us to "Love the Lord with all your heart." After meeting you, I don't think I can keep that mitzvah.

I don't care what the Torah says, I'm not leaving any of your four corners unplowed.

After getting lost for 40 years, I think I've finally found what I was looking for.

Girl, I wish you were a Torah, so I could undress you and run my yad all up and down your columns.

Funny, I don't remember climbing Jacob's ladder, so how did I end up in heaven?

How about I play Moses and you play with my staff?

Unlike the Torah, I'm gonna put my hands all over you.

Can I dip my maror in your charoset.

How about you and I make the dead sea come alive.

Even though it's breaking a commandment, I'm worshiping you right now.

When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn't the only thing you will be touching!



FOR ATHEISTS:

I know you're an atheist, but I can make you scream God.

Are you a deity? Because you look unreal.

Wanna re-create the Big Bang?

Hey there, have you been touched by the great noodly appendage?

Jesus may not come a second time, but I sure can!

I may not go to church, but I have an organ for you.

Did it hurt when you were ripped from the cold bosom of oblivion and given conscious thought?

Wanna prove immaculate conception wrong?

Naturally, I'd select you over anyone else.

Let me show you there is a God.

Skeptical about my abilities in bed? Don't worry, I can provide tons of proof.

I know I'm an atheist, but GOD DAMN you're gorgeous!

Want more? Ask and ye shalt receive:

Spoiler

Bonus stuff!

 

[Mortiferr]

Quite honestly I hate pickup lines. They're unoriginal and I find it slightly disrespectful to try and "pick up" and woman in that way. Show a little originality and respect guys. Be a little classy, for real.