Coming Out Of The Closet

[Jazzy]

Coming out of the closet, or simply coming out, is a figure of speech for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people's self-disclosure of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Coming out to your family may be the hardest thing for you to do in your coming out process. Your parents most likely raised you assuming that you would be heterosexual. They probably have given some thought to you getting married and having children. When parents first learn of a child's homosexuality they often feel a loss. It generally takes some time for them to realize that they haven't lost anything and that things like marriage and children are all still possible.

If you have not yet come out to your parents, you probably feel distanced from them. A large part of your life does, or will, relate to you identifying as lesbian, gay or bisexual. You most likely miss having an open relationship with your family and are tired of keeping secrets from them. If you are in a serious romantic relationship, you probably feel even more distanced from your family. Holidays and family events are probably rough because you either can not spend those events with your partner or your partner is forced to masquerade as your "roommate".

Source

Questions for those who have come out:

• How hard was it for you to tell anyone?
• Who did you tell first?
• Are your parent/parents accepting and supportive of who you are?

Questions for those who have not yet come out:

• Are you afraid of rejection from family and friends?
• Is it hard to 'pretend' to be straight?
• Do you think one day you'll come out?

 

[Shadowfire]

I'm bi and I don't think my family would react very well, though they seemed to react OK when my cousin said he was gay. I may come out at an older age, though I think my parents know already.

 

[Nebulous]

Questions for those who have not yet come out:

• Are you afraid of rejection from family and friends?
• Is it hard to 'pretend' to be straight?
• Do you think one day you'll come out?

If anyone answered this, they would be coming out here on Off Topix wouldn't they?
...But then again people are anonymous online so not really I suppose

 

[Jazzy]

Anyone who feels uncomfortable or doesn't want to participate in this thread does not have to. As a straight person, I thought it might enlighten for other straight people to find out what's it's like to be a LGBT and how they have dealt with it or are dealing with it. As you mentioned, members here are anonymous.

 

[Sinon]

How hard was it for you to tell anyone?
At first, extremely. I was a religious person, in a religious family, at a religious school. It was drummed into me that homosexuality was wrong, which led to me believing that I was wrong. This in turn led to depression, self-harm, and a failed suicide attempt. Over the years it has gotten a lot easier to tell people if they need/want to know. There are still intolerant people though, but now I can generally take whatever is thrown at me and send it back tenfold.

Who did you tell first?
My best friend/current partner.

Are your parent/parents accepting and supportive of who you are?
Not entirely. As noted in point 1, I'm from a religious family. My parents have taken a passive/neutral stance on the whole thing. If it makes me happy, go ahead, we don't want to hear about it though. That's pretty much what I was told when I came out.

 

[Nebulous]

How hard was it for you to tell anyone?
At first, extremely. I was a religious person, in a religious family, at a religious school. It was drummed into me that homosexuality was wrong, which led to me believing that I was wrong. This in turn led to depression, self-harm, and a failed suicide attempt. Over the years it has gotten a lot easier to tell people if they need/want to know. There are still intolerant people though, but now I can generally take whatever is thrown at me and send it back tenfold.

Who did you tell first?
My best friend/current partner.

Are your parent/parents accepting and supportive of who you are?
Not entirely. As noted in point 1, I'm from a religious family. My parents have taken a passive/neutral stance on the whole thing. If it makes me happy, go ahead, we don't want to hear about it though. That's pretty much what I was told when I came out.

Glad to hear you were brave enough to share that info with other people. How long were you hiding it for? Or did nobody ever ask?

 

[Jerlene]

My close friends and family think I'm gay but I'm not, I let them think it. It's gone on far too long for me to tell them the truth. lol

 

[Nebulous]

My close friends and family think I'm gay but I'm not, I let them think it. It's gone on far too long for me to tell them the truth. lol

Why do you think they think that?