Forgiveness

[Monica]

Are you quick to forgive people when they apologize or does it take a while to earn your forgiveness?

 

[Nebulous]

It depends on what they did really. Usually I can let letting things go but big stuff will take some time.

 

[Sariki]

I’m the same as you Neb

 

[Ravenfreak]

It depends on exactly what they did. If it's something big then I might not ever get over it, I've cut people out of my life in the past and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

 

[Nebulous]

I've cut people out of my life in the past and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

Depending on who they are I suppose.

I would be quick to cut certain people out of my life but super close people might get more chances to redeem themselves than the others.

 

[MrDawn]

I haven't always been particularly good at forgiving people. I think I've really changed in that area because I had a cheating wife that I forgave many many times. I was just never able to forgive my childhood best friend for the things he did. Still can't forgive him. I guess I held him to a higher standard than my ex wife.

 

[Nebulous]

I haven't always been particularly good at forgiving people. I think I've really changed in that area because I had a cheating wife that I forgave many many times. I was just never able to forgive my childhood best friend for the things he did. Still can't forgive him. I guess I held him to a higher standard than my ex wife.

What did he do? …if you don’t mind me asking

 

[MrDawn]

What did he do? …if you don’t mind me asking

It was back in 2006. I was 20. His name was Charles and he was 19. Him sleeping with a girlfriend that I saw under a month I can get passed, you know?

What I'm still sore about with him are the lies and rumors that they both spread. It's hard to take a friend back when they went around telling people that you're a rapist and a woman beater. And because of those lies I was ostracized from my friend circle. They never floated their alleged claims with the police and it was never taken to court, because I wanted to sue him for libel. When I was with her, we used to visit Charles at his parents house. It's funny because he told his parents after she cheated and they got together that I was sleeping with his woman. How or why his family bought into that load of crap I'll never understand.

He is literally a congenital liar. After she left him 5 years later. He came crawling back to me wanting to be friends and asking for my forgiveness. One problem. He didn't do what I asked. To go confess to his family and our mutual friends that he lied about what he said about me. So no. I told him it wasn't going to work. Even my ex wife confronted him and she told him what he said and did was immoral and degrading. Still...he did nothing to right his wrong.

He recently betrayed another guy, named Kevin, that I grew up with who stuck by him through thick and thin, so there's no point in forgiving him because he hasn't changed. This guy took him in when he had no where else to go and he stole from him and trashed out his house while he was away working on the railroad. When Kevin called Charles out on what he did to him. Charles turned around and accused Kevin of owing him money and Kevin kicked him out. Now they're not friends.

 

[Nebulous]

@Tempest, wow what a scum bag. I wouldn’t be friends with a guy like that either.

 

[Smiley]

I forgive only when the person proves beyond all reasonable doubt that (s)he is truly sorry with their actions, not words, since words mean nothing, but I never forget and have no problem ramming it into their faces if they ever try to pull another stunt at my expense.

 

[Cory]

Depends on how much harm they caused me, mentally or physically. If they apologize and they deeply mean it, I will try to forgive them, but sometimes apologies can just be empty words. If I see a repeated action from someone not only to myself but to others as well, I am more than likely not going to forgive them so easily.