Funny F**k My Life's?

[Kasynlie]

I'm not sure if you all have seen this before, but go to this website: http://www.fmylife.com/



Then copy, paste the funny ones here.

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

 

[Skillet]

I love that site!

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

 

[Dazation]

Ive heard about the site, but never really used it

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

 

[Skillet]

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

 

[Sunny]

Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML

Haha

 

[Mr. Perfect]

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

WOW!

 

[Sam.]

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said I'm pretending to be mommy from last night. I was on a business trip last night. FML