How do you deal with rejection?

[MrDawn]

How do you deal with rejection?

 

[KO896]

From the meme...are you referring to relationship rejection? I don't have the answer to that, but there are so many lonely people looking for love out there, so don't let one person bring you down.

 

[MrDawn]

From the meme...are you referring to relationship rejection?

Both relationships and friendships. 😁

 

[MamaFrankie]

Doesn't bother me, I prefer my own company.

 

[Black Angel]

I usually prefer to be alone and somehow people gravitate toward me anyway.. I never tried to put myself out there like that.

I mean I have told a guy that I had a crush on him, but I did that because I was getting over it and I wanted to tell him so that I didn't have a lingering "what if" in the back of my mind later on.. (I have a tendency to overthink things and doing stuff like this forces me not to..)

This particular guy was shocked when I told him and I was honest about my reason for telling him, and by the time he came around and wanted to ask me out, I had already moved on. We are still friends to this day and is one of our best friends.

But although I have never been rejected, I have taken things in stride when I didn't get an answer.. I mean what would be the point of not moving on, and squander an opportunity to find someone that is as into you, as you were into the person who rejected you.. if I did things the way a lot of these incels (male and female, lets be real here the entitlement certainly swings both ways..) do when rejected, then I would not have ended up with my husband.. and the effect would be similar to when you can't stop talking about your ex.. which brings me to my next point..

The next guy I told my about feelings for them was my husband.. and eventually he realized that I was serious and wasn't playing games with him, like he was used to in high school.. he thought I was playing around, because that was what he was used to when he was growing up as he was relentlessly bullied and his self esteem was seriously impacted by that. In turn, my feelings for him were strong enough to give me the patience to see it through, because my instincts told me that he felt the same way long before he did.

I would later learn, that this was also the case with the first guy I told. He went through the same thing my husband did, and worse because of colorism, so when I told him, he never said anything thinking that I was joking and ended up being deployed overseas and came back a year later when he realized that I wasn't kidding and that he had feelings for me too, but I had already moved on.

When he came back, he told me all about the stuff he did while away and honestly I was just grateful that I didn't wreck our friendship. Today, we are still friends and are like siblings.. this is why I always say that your friends are the family you make for yourself and blood relation or not that they become part of your family too.

 

[Crys]

I am perfectly fine with the small group of friends I have. I don't open up to just anyone. I didn't do that when I was younger and as I'm older still the same. So, it's really whatever to me. That's for friendships. Since I'm married, the relationship thing doesn't apply anymore.

Edit: Don't dwell on it. Life goes on.

 

[KO896]

Both relationships and friendships. 😁

Well, as for friendships, make sure it's actual rejection and not just someone not having time for the friendship. I used to take it personally when a friend couldn't hang out with me, until I saw all the times I couldn't hang out and had to say no to them. Then it hit me that we can hang out even once a year and still be good friends. My BFF from high school and I will email multiple times a day for months and then suddenly go silent for a year and then start back up with our messaging or emailing. Good friendships can stay strong, even with a distance.