How does one voice concern without fat shaming?

[MrDawn]

Hypothetically, if you have a family member, spouse, partner, or good friend that's getting to be 600 lbs, how do you express your worries without them taking offense and accusing you of fat shaming?

 

[passenger]

Hypothetically, if you have a family member, spouse, partner, or good friend that's getting to be 600 lbs, how do you express your worries without them taking offense and accusing you of fat shaming?

That's so ironic because my son made a remark about the extra 30 pounds he's carrying is helping him stay warm this winter.
I just replied that I knew that nagging was not helpful, but the extra weight was not helping his heart.
You never know the right thing to say in awkward situations like this, especially in an extreme case like the one you mention; & you never know how your remarks or comments will be received.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Hypothetically, if you have a family member, spouse, partner, or good friend that's getting to be 600 lbs, how do you express your worries without them taking offense and accusing you of fat shaming?

You don't say anything because chances are they are overtly aware of their situation. Telling them that you've noticed they are gaining weight will probably just increase their self consciousness and depression.

One strategy is saying that you want to get into better shape and eat better, then ask them if they'd like to join you. People will usually have better results if they have a partner in their weight loss journey.

 

[Dee]

Hypothetically, if you have a family member, spouse, partner, or good friend that's getting to be 600 lbs, how do you express your worries without them taking offense and accusing you of fat shaming?

Chances are they already know. People who are not considered overweight or at least not that big often thing that larger people somehow just have no idea they're big, but really it's not the case. Once you go in knowing that, it really depends on the relationship you have with this person. Are they family, a close friend, a domestic partner? Best to consider the relationship before opening your mouth and blabbering on about something that's already quite apparent. It'd probably be slightly easier if you're around someone a lot (aka, family, spouse) so you can suggest something like trying to lose weight or keep in shape together. The last thing you want to do is call the person awful names. That'll just hammer the last nail into the coffin.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Chances are they already know. People who are not considered overweight or at least not that big often thing that larger people somehow just have no idea they're big, but really it's not the case. Once you go in knowing that, it really depends on the relationship you have with this person. Are they family, a close friend, a domestic partner? Best to consider the relationship before opening your mouth and blabbering on about something that's already quite apparent. It'd probably be slightly easier if you're around someone a lot (aka, family, spouse) so you can suggest something like trying to lose weight or keep in shape together. The last thing you want to do is call the person awful names. That'll just hammer the last nail into the coffin.

Indeed. You start telling them they are fat or calling them names then they'll just spiral even further and put on more weight. Its a very delicate situation.