How important is sex in marriage?

[The Raven]

We are all creatures who desire someone's love but we also desire sex if we are close with that person who we love. It seems to be an often practice that marriage sometimes becomes sexless. This may lead partners to divorce or cheating. It is of no surprise that women are those who refuse having sex in majority of cases since men are known for having sexual urges quite higher. That's why it is known that women fake headache to avoid sex. That being said, why women tend to avoid sex?

And of course, how important sex in marriage actually is?

 

[Debashis]

I feel sex is an important aspect of many marriages as it can enhance emotional intimacy and physical connection. However, its importance varies for each couple based on individual needs, values, and circumstances. Open communication and mutual understanding are key in determining the significance of sex in a marriage.

 

[Nebulous]

I have been a relationship for well over a decade and the sex has decreased over time. We still love each other though and the sex is good when it does happen. Personally I don't think either of us has much of an appetite for it these days. We need to get in better shape and we're usually tired from work.

 

[MrDawn]

I've been with my second wife for 3 years now. Sex isn't everything but it does help in building up a relationship when it is still in the honeymoon phase.

 

[Saphira]

I disagree on men being "the ones with greater urges". Not between me and the father of our kids, in the past. Unless I'm the exception, lol.

I would say, I can live without sex, however. But not without intimacy. It's not purely about the physical, it's also (or even, more) about the way you feel with someone.

 

[MamaFrankie]

Sex is not important to me at all and never has been. Same with marriage and romantic relationships. Never had a relationship, never will, not interested.

 

[InMyOpinion]

Sex is important in any relationship if you're asking me. I know there are some exceptions (those who are asexual etc.) but for the most part I think sex is important. Though sex alone isn't important it's also being caring, affectionate, thoughful etc. But yes, sex is important in marriage or any relationship

 

[Doc Nova]

A lot of people don't like to admit it, but sex is very important in a relationship - it can make or break it [the relationship] It doesn't matter how much you love someone, if the sex with them is bad - and is consistently bad - the relationship will sour very quickly. Another thing that some people don't understand is that for people in love, sex is not just "lol naked fun time THIS FEELS GOOD!" Sex can bring two people closer together, it can bond them in a unique way that you have to experience to understand.

It is of no surprise that women are those who refuse having sex in majority of cases since men are known for having sexual urges quite higher. That's why it is known that women fake headache to avoid sex. That being said, why women tend to avoid sex?

I'm going to address this in 2 parts.

1. I definitely think it's still true that men overwhelmingly are the horny ones who have a higher than normal sex drive, but in modern times there are a lot of women who are the sexual ones - more so than guys. However, women tend to be a lot more reserved and subtle about it. Us guys openly talk about boobies, how hot girls are, etc. Women, meanwhile, aren't as open. I think that's what ultimately leads to the misunderstanding that women aren't as sexual as men.

2. For a lot of dumb guys, they think with their dick. They see a hot girl and their dick instantly rises to the occasion and now that guy has a mission: get in her pants. Women learn from a young age that men want sex, it's one of the main things we desire (especially when we are younger). As such, girls learn very quickly that making excuses for no sex is the way to go. This applies for marriage. Guys see their wife in some outfit, get aroused and spontaneously want sex.

I can't speak for all women, though, so I could be wrong. Maybe some guy's sex drive overwhelms their partners, and sometimes, we [guys] may unintentionally make our significant other feel like sex is the only thing that is important. My ex left me for that very reason. That said, I do wish that women communicated, instead of "I'm tired", "I have a headache", "not now". Just be honest and say if you don't want to. If you don't want to have sex or have sex that often, talk to your partner. Communicate!

 

[Black Angel]

There's sex..

And then there's sex..

And then there's good sex..

while important, they are not the same..

But like Red said, it comes down to communication, and if your partner is a good listener, then they will pick up on the cues your body gives them and you won't have to say a word.

That being said, the last type of sex I mentioned with type of partner I mentioned will probably make up the gap between men and women on this issue, its just that women will always be judged more for it by those who are threatened by a woman who knows what she wants.

These guys only fall into the first category of sex.. which is basically not much more than a pump and dump.. and when you have this kind of partner that only lives life from the perspective of the tip of their zipper then I wouldn't expect them to even make it to a serious phase in any relationship until they grow up.. these selfish kinds of men are probably the ones behind Project 2025.. or the Lap Pinky Manifesto.. as I'll probably be calling it from now on.. I may joke about the name but that doesn't make this plan any less terrifying.

 

[DrLeftover]

It had been important.

And then, a couple of years ago, my wife's health changed.

Dramatically.

 

[Mendalla]

It had been important.

And then, a couple of years ago, my wife's health changed.

Dramatically.

Ditto, though it is not all health. Our relationship shifted, too, for reasons still not entirely fathomed. But we are still committed to the relationship even absent physical intimacy. So I would say that sex has a role to play in a marriage, especially early on, but its importance may change with time and changing circumstances.

 

[Dee]

To me? Not important at all. I am asexual and would be happy to never have sex again. However, I do understand for the majority of people, they have varying importance of sex in a relationship.

 

[ElegantAura]

I don't think that can be definitively answered, the importance varies in every relationship.

Each marriage is different, and it depends on the couple. As long as both partners are on the same page, that's what matters.