I get the weirdest and most dumb spam emails.

[MrDawn]

Pretty much what the title says. I figured I'd share some of the dumb stuff that hits my spam folder. Check this out. Its just one look and you're like wtf?

Dearest One,

May the greetings of Lord be with you in Jesus name Amen, Please Sorry if i hurt you as i wish to introduce myself why i am contacting you i am Mrs. Agatha Alfred from Scotland , I got married to my late husband Mr. Alfred Huston from Scotland, we married for 11 years we couldn't produce any child and my late husband was an international business man, may his soul rest in peace Amen.

Before his death two years ago I have been suffering from cancer of breast, which I have tried my best to have it cure but no solution after all the treatment which I have been taking, but to my greatest surprise some days ago my doctor told me that I may not live more than 2 months as the result of the sickness. And My late husband deposited the sum of $15.4 million dollars in one of the local bank here in Scotland Royal Bank Of Scotland for his business before his death, now I decide to use this money to help the less privileges like poor widows, orphans, disables and build churches Temples as the result of my short stay on this earth since we couldn't produce any child to inherit the fund and our properties.

I was touched in spirit to donate the money to you but as we haven't met each other God knows all why, to use it for the good work of God only.Please reply me soon for better explanation. As per my health condition i can't handle this all alone i have spoken to my lawyer whom will handle all the due process please kindly contact my lawyer i have informed him of my WILL and copy of this message we posted to his office as my WILL letter which he approved as my propertied lawyer his name is Barrister.David Ford he will be waiting for your urgent reply to his private email: [email protected]


I knew i have never met you but my mind tells me to do this with you and I hope you will act sincerely.there are many people who steal money from innocent people if you can't use this money as per my WILL please don't contact my lawyer because i have prayed to God and ask him that whoever that handles this project will only take 40% percent of the $15.4 Million dollars for his personal use while 10% Percent for any expense during the process and the remaining 50% percent must be used as per my instruction which my lawyer has approved please don't contact my lawyer if you are not comfortable with the 40% percent which i willing offered you from my heart or asking the lawyer or bank un-necessary question is my late husband hard earned money nothing to fare about.

I do not have any other means of contacting you or anyone else we have God in mind never take all this money as per your personal use apart from the 40% percent which i have willing offered you,you can as well build Churches train people to school hospitals for free treatments waters and share cloths to the needs if you can do all this with the 50% percent which i donate for poor and 40% percent for your effort 10% Percent for any kind of expense may accord during the transfer process then contact my lawyer immediately.

Thanks and God bless you as you work for the need and poor. Hoping you to contact my lawyer soonest.

Best Regards,
Your beloved sister in Christ
Mrs. Agatha Michael Alfred Huston

Who the hell takes the time to write this crap and send it out to every one? I mean hell, even the email in it doesn't work.

 

[Jazzy]

That's the longest spam letter I have ever read! :rolf2:

 

[MrDawn]

That's the longest spam letter I have ever read! :rolf2:

Honestly its the second letter I've gotten in my spam folder. It just makes you shake your head as you delete it, lol.

 

[Nebulous]

Lol. Sometimes browsing your spam folder can be entertaining.

I got one yesterday saying I won a million dollars &,just needed to provide banking information to get the money wired to me.

 

[Elvira]

I don't open my spam, I just read the subject title and click delete lol.

 

[MrDawn]

Okay. I got another one. Yet again. What the hell?

From: Ms. Carman L. Lapointe.
UNITED NATIONS OFFICE OF INTERNATIONAL OVERSIGHT SERVICES
Internal Audit,Monitoring,Consulting And Investigations Division.

My name is Ms. Carman L. Lapointe, from the United Nations. It is a distinct pleasure to write you again and as you are well aware many foreigners have invested thousands of United States Dollars into Nigeria transactions in Hopeless Dreams to have none of them become a reality.

Right now, as directed by our secretary general Mr.Ban Ki-Moon, We have agreed with the Nigeria Government that One Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only would be paid to you through the Western Union Money Transfer Via special arrangement as first installment.

This is to enable you have enough funds to pay for the Tax Clearance and bank charges before you will receive the balance of your funds. Please take note that you will pay US$185 only, being Notarization fee and this is the only financial obligation that you will undertake to receive the One Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only through the Western Union Money Transfer.

Lastly,i will like you to reconfirm your information to me such as your full name, address and telephone number so that I will proceed with your Western Union Money Transfer within the next 24 hrs and the transaction information will be released to you.

I await your response for further proceedings.

Sincerely yours,

Ms. Carman L. Lapointe

Okay, if you say so spam folder.

 

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lol another spam email with title "My Wife Chopped My Manhood Off with A Buther Knife"