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Well, my bipolar disorder is acting up. I've been having on and off days. Some days I feel more stable than others. I've been contemplating changing out of the Remeron (antidepressant) and increasing the Clozaril (anti-psychotic) I take.
I take Lithium 900mg - not changing
Clozaril 100mg - want to increase to help with my mood, and OCD thoughs
Ativan 4mg/day - maintain for now but eventually reduce/eliminate from the mix.
Topamax 100mg/day - double dosage (100mg 2x/day - to help combat seizures)
Remeron - eliminate
Colace 200mg bedtime - keep for side effect
Problem is I have no psychiatrist, and I've been contemplating going to the hospital. Mom's been trying to rationalize my feelings as stress, but I don't feel it's that. For multiple nights, I've had the urge to take extra of my medication as a way to kill myself and I've taken some meds early to help combat the urges (even though I get sedation effects that I don't like).
Mom's been trying to keep me out of the hospital this weekend mainly because it's July 4th weekend and there'd be more people there because of the holiday. But what about afterwords (Tuesday)?
Do I continue to try to survive on a day to day basis, or do I make the move to go to the hospital, despite the fact that I don't have a psychiatrist currently or be able to make a discharge plan should I go.
What do I do?
Thanks,
Andy...
I take Lithium 900mg - not changing
Clozaril 100mg - want to increase to help with my mood, and OCD thoughs
Ativan 4mg/day - maintain for now but eventually reduce/eliminate from the mix.
Topamax 100mg/day - double dosage (100mg 2x/day - to help combat seizures)
Remeron - eliminate
Colace 200mg bedtime - keep for side effect
Problem is I have no psychiatrist, and I've been contemplating going to the hospital. Mom's been trying to rationalize my feelings as stress, but I don't feel it's that. For multiple nights, I've had the urge to take extra of my medication as a way to kill myself and I've taken some meds early to help combat the urges (even though I get sedation effects that I don't like).
Mom's been trying to keep me out of the hospital this weekend mainly because it's July 4th weekend and there'd be more people there because of the holiday. But what about afterwords (Tuesday)?
Do I continue to try to survive on a day to day basis, or do I make the move to go to the hospital, despite the fact that I don't have a psychiatrist currently or be able to make a discharge plan should I go.
What do I do?
Thanks,
Andy...
