My ex misses me?

[xVertii]

Thought about finding somewhere to get some advice, and thought Off Topix might be the place. So please help me out here. Thanks

Here's the whole story:



So this girl, Amber, is like, REALLY hot lol. No joke, almost every guy in the school thinks so. And her boyfriend cheated on her, and she broke up with him. First week of school. I am in 10th grade and see that she is in my chemistry class with me. She is in 11th grade.



So, a week later I find out from a friend, that Amber told the friend to tell me she likes me. Never talked to Amber in my life before, scared out of my mind. I see her in Chemistry and we talk. And we talked for 2-3 weeks and dated. We dated for about 2 months and 1 week.



She started acting weird, and she wouldn't kiss me anymore or hardly talk to me. I kept asking her what was wrong, and eventually she broke up with me via text saying that it was all her fault, that I never did anything wrong (which I actually didn't, treated her like an angel). She said that she felt something special before, but now it felt like we were just friends hanging out and like it wasn't enough, and her feelings for me weren't as strong.



So I accepted it. Two and a half weeks later, we have an FCA Volleyball tournament at my school and we are both there. She kept looking at me and was talking to another one of my friends. Well after it was over, this friend comes up to me and tells me Amber misses me.



I just KNEW that would happen, I treated her too well, said too many nice things, for her to just let me go. So I texted her about it and she said it was true. Our conversation:



Amber: Nebulous (me) do you think that anyone could take your place?

Me: I don't know amber, thats for you to answer. I'm nothing special.

Amber: Oh shut up Nebulous! You treated me like I was the best thing that ever happened to you!

...

Amber: I miss all the nice things you say..(and she goes on to say other stuff).



So really, she does miss me and I miss her. But my problem is HOW THE HELL DO I START THIS UP AGAIN?



We are texting each other again, for the past 2 days, and I am going to try to talk to her in the hall at school tomorrow, but I really don't know what to say to her to get this started again. I asked her what she thought about All of this and she said she was too scared to tell me (with a smile face).



Can anyone give me some advice on what to do? I know I shouldn't just jump into something really fast, but I need something to move this a little bit more and not act as if we are just friends, and make the same mistake I (apparently) made before.



Thanks for taking your time to read this if you did

 

[Jazzy]

Any successful relationship is built out of mutual trust and friendship. I think it is vitally important to have a strong friendship built before moving forward in the relationship. Amber's first boyfriend cheated on her and I think she now has a trust issue. Amber also sounds, to me, like she is lacking attention in her life and misses the attention you gave her. Amber is also acting immature by having friends relay messages to you. Just the way she broke up with you via text was the cowards way out to do it.



I'm not so sure that she really wants a relationship with you further than just friendship. My only advice is to take it very slow with Amber and build up a good strong friendship before getting back into a relationship with her. You are both very young and sometimes people are meant to only be friends and nothing more.



Wishing you the best of luck with this and keep up updated.

 

[Rapunzel]

I agree with Jazzy and I'd also say that people often want what they can't have, but once they've got it they don't want it any more.

Take it slowly. Make her want you but don't put her on a pedestal or she'll treat you like a mat at her feet.



Good luck.

 

[Corleone]

Any successful relationship is built out of mutual trust and friendship. I think it is vitally important to have a strong friendship built before moving forward in the relationship. Amber's first boyfriend cheated on her and I think she now has a trust issue. Amber also sounds, to me, like she is lacking attention in her life and misses the attention you gave her. Amber is also acting immature by having friends relay messages to you. Just the way she broke up with you via text was the cowards way out to do it.



I'm not so sure that she really wants a relationship with you further than just friendship. My only advice is to take it very slow with Amber and build up a good strong friendship before getting back into a relationship with her. You are both very young and sometimes people are meant to only be friends and nothing more.



Wishing you the best of luck with this and keep up updated.

Excellent advice; +1 for Jazzy!

 

[xVertii]

@Jazzy - You are very helpful. I am going to try and let her come to me...she is the one who broke up with me. I appreciate the advice a lot Jazzy.



@Rapunzel - Wow you shocked me with Make her want you but don't put her on a pedestal or she'll treat you like a mat at her feet. How? Because before we broke up I talked to a friend of mine that's a girl and a friend of Amber's, and she said to me, You're a great guy, don't let her walk all over you. And what you said by like a mat at her feet, hits it 100%. I learned that I am NOT going to let her walk over me and not let her come and go when she chooses. If it goes a little bit further, I actually play to tell her that I need to be the ONLY guy she is talking to, and the ONLY one.



Thanks all

More advice appreciated!!

 

[Corleone]

In addition to Jazzy's advice, remember, slow and steady always wins the race.

Hope the best for you and your ex. One more note, show her you care without being obsessive.

 

[xVertii]

Thanks

Yes, slow and steady. Will try.