Needs an advice.

[Toxic]

I never really shared my personal life before, but I just don't want to end up with a wrong choice and I sorta need to know what I should do. It is difficult to explain, but I will try. Before I begin, I have to say that my ex was actually a great boyfriend. We were sorta too good to be true.



Let's just say A is my ex and B is my-used-to-be-best friend.



We were all close with each other for years. We would share everything and anything with each other. At that point I have been with A for 5 months. About 7 months ago I found out that A and B were flirting with each other without me knowing and the one that told me is B.



I was mad and asked A about it. He said sorry bla bla bla. Ya know I straight up drop the break-up bomb with my ex and they got together not long after that. I wish I could shot both of them dead.



Long story short, B found someone new that she's interested in and cheated on A. A found out that she is cheating and he also found out that B lied to him about me seeing someone else or flirting with somebody. He then broke up with her and came to me to tell about how sad he was to see what B did to him ( karma is a bitch woohoo! ). He knew what he had done to me and knew what it feels like to be cheated, so he asked if I wanted to be his friend... I was like okay whatever.



From then on he kept saying hello or call just to know what I'm doing..or pulling the I miss u line occasionally. I could say I was mad over heels for A before this happened and I still somewhat have feeling for him, but I just could not forget what he had done to me.



The question is should I stay friends with him? or tell him I don't wanna see him anymore?

 

[IcarusForde]

Stay friends with him. He knows you well, right? You talk to him a lot?



The thing is with friends like that, you can't afford to lose them, and if you do, you will realize that you are missing someone who really does matter to you. And you really don't get many people like that in your life - ever.



Flick me a PM if you need to talk or whatever - I'm always happy to.

 

[Toxic]

We knew each other too well. 5 months are enough to know inside and out.

We are friends now and still talk every now and then, but every time I think about this. I can get really upset and just wish he'd be gone and not ever try to talk talk to me.



It is reaaally weird.

 

[Nebulous]

So did he blow you off to get with your friend then only come back to talking to you once she burned him?

 

[Toxic]

Well, he did try to talk to me while he was with her pretending everything was okay. I just refused to talk or answer his calls. I was like DIEEE ASSHOLE. rofl.

 

[IcarusForde]

We knew each other too well. 5 months are enough to know inside and out.

We are friends now and still talk every now and then, but every time I think about this. I can get really upset and just wish he'd be gone and not ever try to talk talk to me.



It is reaaally weird.

I think the best thing to do is to probably talk with him, and then work out what you guys are going to do. I mean, sure, it's gonna be awkward, but if you get it cleared up, then you're gonna have years more of friendship than if you just let it get more and more awkward.

 

[Toxic]

I don't know when I should bring this up because we hardly ever talk about this. It's been months since this thing happened lol. Just my luck that I can't seem to forget this.

 

[IcarusForde]

Does he still talk about it? If it's just you, then you probably need to try and let it go - I mean, i'd normally get people to pray about it, cause that's just how i roll (christian and all...

) (you always could, though), but at the moment, you sit down and sort out what you really value - if he's one of the things, then you need to think things through a bit more.

 

[Toxic]

That's the problem. I am one of the kind that always clinging to past. Every time I heard his name being mentioned or see him. I always remember this. lol. Dorky huh?

I guess I just could not forget it no matter what as long as he's still around.

 

[IcarusForde]

Nah, it's not dorky, ok? Nothing ever dorky when it comes to your life. Remember that, ok? And memories will never completely go away, but you can deal with them eventually, right?

 

[Toxic]

It's been over 6 months though and I have not completely over it... not with him keep trying to get close to me..



I recieved this txt msg from him tonight.

hey, how was your day? I just got home from work. Miss u. ok so I really need to go to bed and i gta get up at 9:30. hope u sleep well.

 

[IcarusForde]

So what do you want to do?



Do you want to be with him or do you not want to be with him?

 

[Toxic]

I don't really know. Hence why I started this topic. It is something I have yet to decide.

I mean apart from this thing, he's sweet and all. I guess I'm just afraid things would happen twice.



Just from what you read, what do you think of him? Do you think I should be with him?

 

[IcarusForde]

Well, I'm shooting at this from a Christian perspective, right? So bear with me.

What i really think you need to do is to actually take a break from it all. Yeah, i know it's harder than it sounds, but really, it can be done.

When you think about it, it's actually very refreshing to get away from all the crap that comes from the social pressure to 'be with someone'. If you were someone from my church, then i'd tell you to wait for the person that God has for you,



Maybe that's the best thing for you to do now - just wait for someone who comes across your path and stuff, ok?

 

[Toxic]

That actually reminds me of a funny quote I read. Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out.



I will see what others would say about this.

 

[IcarusForde]

This is true.

Hope i could be of some help.

 

[Toxic]

You did help me, in fact I was thinking about taking a break from this madness too. I just need more people's perspective to see if they are on same page with me or not.

Some people say you can't see what others sees in you or other person you're dealing with.

 

[IcarusForde]

This is true. It's always best from an outsiders perspective.

 

[sabrina]

Make a list of the pros and cons of choosing either option and try to be rational about it.



If you really can't forget the past, then just don't speak to him anymore. You can't have any kind of friendship or relationship with anyone, period, that is healthy if you're always dwelling on issues that happened in the past. You have to move on now and that means either letting go of the past or letting go of the friendship. Whichever seems more possible for you.

 

[Flurry]

We knew each other too well. 5 months are enough to know inside and out.

We are friends now and still talk every now and then, but every time I think about this. I can get really upset and just wish he'd be gone and not ever try to talk talk to me.



It is reaaally weird.

I'd say go with what your common sense is telling you.