Parent Priorities in Relationships

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

A person has a child / children and is no longer with the mother/father of those kids. They get into a new relationship with someone. Who should be top priority in their life? Their kids or their new lover?





I recently ran into my most recent ex-girlfriend at the grocery store, which is why this comes to mind. Anyways, our relationship was good at first but then it started to get rocky. She was very jealous of my relationship with my daughter. I would always put my daughter 1st before anything. I usually get my daughter half the week. This ex would always want to go out and do things but wanted me to find a baby sitter OR just skip having her at all that week. I refused to do so because I wanted to spend with my kid and besides that, I'm free the other half of the week anyways. I always tried to suggest we go do kid friendly things instead. The ex would get upset by that tell me that my priorities are all screwed up. SHE should at the top of my list and my daughter should come second to her. I don't think so, it doesnt work that way. Anyways I finally ended up breaking up with her because of it. It's my opinion that a person's children should come before anything and if a new bf/gf can't accept that then they arent worth having.

 

[Corleone]

Exactly. The child is the top priority. You did the right thing, I'm proud of you.

Seriously, I do believe a child should come first. When you decide to become a parent, your priorities need to be compromised to ensue the child is on the top of the list.

 

[Kaczynski]

Definitely the child. Your kid is your responsibility. Your relationships with other people, your girlfriends...they all come second. You can date someone else, but that child is your child.

So you did good.

Besides if your ex didn't treat your daughter with enough respect, or your relationship with your daughter, continuing your relationship together would be futile. I don't have kids but I think that if my parents got divorced and one of them started dating again, I would feel very resentful if they put me second on their priority list.

 

[Princess]

Your child didn't ask to come into the world. And a parent's first responsibility is to them. I have a relative that never understood that. She hasn't raised any of her children....she told me once My kids have to learn to fit into my life Not what I call a real mature attitude.

 

[Black Angel]

The child is always the top priority. If the person you are seeing won't accept that, then that just means that they are not the right person. I say this even though I know that there will always be the possibility that the kid (not yours, but rather, in general) could be intentionally causing a problem simply because they want their parents to get back together. I don't have a kid myself, but my mother would always tell the person she was seeing upfront that she is a mother, and her kids are her top priority and that all of us are apart of the package. She told them that if they can't accept that, then she can't be with them.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Not really much of a debate..

Everyone has the same point of view.

 

[xneseyx]

the child always come first, even before a married spouse.

 

[Ashley]

I agree with everyone else here. If it's your turn to take care of the child during the week, then the obvious answer is that the child is the top priority. It sounds to me that sense your ex seems to think that she's number 1 and not the child, it's obvious that she doesn't really care about the child and only wants to spend time with you. So yeah, this really isn't much of a debate, as I'm in agreement with everyone else, for a change.