Problems With Foggy Solutions

[Payton]

The topic title is just something I was thinking up for the name of the song I talk about in my topic in the music forum, because it correlates with my current life status.



Today is my birthday, and it's been a pretty good day. I got some new books, music, and spent a nice day with my family. But at the end of the day my normal sad mood started setting in, and it felt overwhelming. It was as if a heavy burden was just put on my shoulders.



Last year I had a problem with cutting, that luckily I've resolved thanks to my friend and other sources, and for a time I could deal with my depression and defeated it, somewhat. But that wasn't all that long of a duration of time.



I really don't know how to deal with my depression. I have an empty feeling in me, that I don't know how to really fill. I'd like to say it's because of someone I've admired for nearly five years now, but I'm only 14 so I don't know if it's real love or not, however it feels like what people say it is.



Whatever the problem is, it's just an empty feeling, and I hate it.

 

[Sam.]

Happy Birthday, but it's upsetting to read about your depression.



I have never suffered depression, so I can't really offer a rational solution. Before you think about filling said empty feeling, you have to figure out why you feel empty. You say that you admire (possibly) love somebody - if you spend a lot of time with them, is it because you are only friends? If you are barely aquaintences with them, is it because you want to befriend them?



I suppose that you need to do what makes you happy. Probably the best way to combat depression is to keep yourself busy doing something that you enjoy - perhaps some volunteer work (because you're helping others), or expressing your emotion through music.

 

[Payton]

I spend plenty of time with the person I admire, but she's one of those people that you just don't know about. Our friendship has gotten so good that I really don't want to mess it up; if I tell her how I feel, and the feeling isn't mutual, I risk our friendship becoming awkward; say she does feel the same way but something goes amiss and we aren't friends anymore. I'd lose a friend and probably go into even deeper depression. But never telling her just feels wrong, because it's been all these years. It confuses me.



I've been doing what makes me happy which is mainly writing and music with a mix of developing (as in web development) but it hardly distracts me from this shitty feeling. I mean, a pro is that I turn this into great lyrics, and tunes, but there's a whole list of cons that follow it.

 

[Sam.]

I spend plenty of time with the person I admire, but she's one of those people that you just don't know about. Our friendship has gotten so good that I really don't want to mess it up; if I tell her how I feel, and the feeling isn't mutual, I risk our friendship becoming awkward; say she does feel the same way but something goes amiss and we aren't friends anymore. I'd lose a friend and probably go into even deeper depression. But never telling her just feels wrong, because it's been all these years. It confuses me.

I know how you feel (really, I do), but you should be happy that you are friends with her - like you said, you're only 14, so it's quite likely that in years to come your relationship will progress.



Whatever helped you beat your depression before should be worth revisiting.