Side with them on everything?

[duskpire]

Have you ever had a friend who wants you to side with them on everything they do even if what they did was wrong?

And when you didn't side with them on their wrongs, have they ever accused you of not listening to them?

For me when ever I've listened to a friend, a girlfriend, or an acquaintances' story, and they tell me that they did something wrong while believing they were in the right. I have tried to talk some sense into them and called them out on it. Suddenly I'm accused of not listening to them. Suddenly I'm the bad guy. I get really tired of this "you're either with me or against me" mentality. Me disagreeing with them should not interpret to me being their enemy, that's not fair. For example, a long time ago this woman I had been interested in and talking to for a little while, violated her lease by not listing her dog and griped that the landlord was pushing to evict her over it. She claimed the landlord was a jerk and was in the wrong. I disagreed with her and told her that she was not in the right. She shouldn't have lied about the animal. She's a tenant, not the homeowner and that it doesn't give her a right to do what she wants. She should have listed it on the lease and paid the deposit and that it would have saved her a lot of trouble. She didn't like that I told her that. We disagreed on a lot of things. But every time I would disagree as politely as I could, she didn't like it. I came to the conclusion she just wanted a man that would kiss her ass and agree with her on everything she said and I quickly moved on. I refuse to agree with people and share in their delusions that they are never wrong. If you are wrong, you should be called out on it and corrected.

 

[Dee]

Hell no. I have no problem with telling people my opinion. I do, however, respect that people have differing opinions than I. I only ask that they share the same respect.

 

[KO896]

Have you ever had a friend who wants you to side with them on everything they do even if what they did was wrong?

And when you didn't side with them on their wrongs, have they ever accused you of not listening to them?

For me when ever I've listened to a friend, a girlfriend, or an acquaintances' story, and they tell me that they did something wrong while believing they were in the right. I have tried to talk some sense into them and called them out on it. Suddenly I'm accused of not listening to them. Suddenly I'm the bad guy. I get really tired of this "you're either with me or against me" mentality. Me disagreeing with them should not interpret to me being their enemy, that's not fair. For example, a long time ago this woman I had been interested in and talking to for a little while, violated her lease by not listing her dog and griped that the landlord was pushing to evict her over it. She claimed the landlord was a jerk and was in the wrong. I disagreed with her and told her that she was not in the right. She shouldn't have lied about the animal. She's a tenant, not the homeowner and that it doesn't give her a right to do what she wants. She should have listed it on the lease and paid the deposit and that it would have saved her a lot of trouble. She didn't like that I told her that. We disagreed on a lot of things. But every time I would disagree as politely as I could, she didn't like it. I came to the conclusion she just wanted a man that would kiss her ass and agree with her on everything she said and I quickly moved on. I refuse to agree with people and share in their delusions that they are never wrong. If you are wrong, you should be called out on it and corrected.

I wouldn't put up with that for very long. Most landlords have specifics written in contracts concerning pets, and if you violate that, then it's obvious you are in the wrong and voided the contract. Your friend is too full of herself.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

When I was renting I had a cat when I knew cats weren't allowed. I knew I was voiding the contract, I knew I was doing something "wrong" but I loved my cat and accepted the risks. The landlord never came after me for it while I lived there but when I moved out she came after me hardcore with keeping the deposit money and even suing me for more money because of all the "damage" my cat caused. We settled for less than half the amount she wanted (because more than half the things she listed in her complaint were obviously bullshit). I accepted the consequences and moved on.

As for friends that want a yes-man for a friend? Sorry bud that ain't gonna be me. I tell it like it is.

 

[duskpire]

Your friend is too full of herself.

She was just someone whose bad side I didn't want to be on. I had hoped a friendship might come out of it, but it never did. She was bi-polar and admitted to being abusive to friends and boyfriends. There were many times where I felt she was lying to me about things or she would play games with me that I felt were frustrating. I never got close to her and kept my distance. There were many times I called her out for doing some really dumb things because I had been growing tired of her immaturity. As a result she started distancing herself from me and was realizing that maybe we weren't really friends. She wasn't wrong.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

She was just someone whose bad side I didn't want to be on. I had hoped a friendship might come out of it, but it never did. She was bi-polar and admitted to being abusive to friends and boyfriends. There were many times where I felt she was lying to me about things or she would play games with me that I felt were frustrating. I never got close to her and kept my distance. There were many times I called her out for doing some really dumb things because I had been growing tired of her immaturity. As a result she started distancing herself from me and was realizing that maybe we weren't really friends. She wasn't wrong.

Bi-polar people are hard to get along with (I have a few in my family). Sometimes its not their fault and sometimes I think they lean into their affliction as an excuse to be obnoxious.

 

[Black Angel]

People who demand that you always side with them are an abusive, walking, talking, breathing red flag. They don't want a friend, they want a punching bag (be it physical or emotional) and at worse, an accomplice to something bad they plan to do in the future.

And their behavior always seems to get worse with time.. regardless of apology.. and especially if sex is involved.