So Helpless

[Fatal Dawn]

I hold her hand and she smiles at me.
Though I feel her pain,
I can’t take it away,
Just hold her hand and tell her it’s okay.

Her body is limp,
Her fingers cold,
To life she clings,
As she reaches for my hands to hold.

I fall to knees on the floor,
Wondering how far I’ve come,
From holding her as a baby,
To pacing the hospital corridor.
Standing there at her bedside,
Thinking of the times we cried.

I run my fingers through her hair.
She responds,
Dad, I know you care.
I’ll always keep you dear,
Even if I won’t always be near.

My heart sank into my stomach,
Feeling so helpless,
And I can’t take her pain away.


Dad, I know you care.
I’ll always keep you dear,
Even if I won’t always be near.

The words echo in my two ears.
Trying to imagine the pain she bears,
She looks out the window, towards the stars,
Traumatized by the physical scars.
I can’t even sleep,
Staring at the hands of the clock,
Thinking of where I went wrong.
I can’t imagine my daughter gone.

Lying in bed, clutching her baby pictures,
I can’t picture her gone.
I hope she likes the cards I bought her.
I lost my wife and I won’t lose my daughter.
I promised I wouldn’t let anything harm her…
Empty promises are not the trademark of a good father…


Feeling so helpless,
Because I can’t take her pain away.

I wake up in the morning,
The doctor’s on the phone.
My body turns to stone,
The doctor says she didn’t make it through the night.
I broke down and cried,
Throwing the phone against the wall with all my might.


Feeling so helpless,
Because I can’t take her pain away.

Helpless.
Helpless.
Feeling so helpless.
Can’t give her back her life.

Helpless.
Helpless.
Feeling so helpless.
Can’t get back even another second with her.

Helpless.
Helpless.
Feeling so helpless.
No one understands.

Helpless.
Helpless.
Feeling so helpless.
No one understands.

Helpless.
Helpless.
Feeling so helpless.
Can’t reach my arms in heaven and grab my child.

Helpless.
Helpless.
Helpless.
So helpless.


Painfully written by Thorne McFarlane (alias: Fatal Dawn)

 

[Fatal Dawn]

Hey Smooth. It's difficult to put into words inspires me. For this piece it was a combination of the idea I held internally and looking towards the external world. By nature I'm a very conflicted person in terms of the way I see the world and the different emotions I feel, so my poems tend to reflect that. I apologize if this was not the answer you were looking for, but I'm glad my poetry makes you think. This is partially why I write; not for readers to think the way I think or even feel the way I feel, but just to think, and feel, and reflect. Thanks for reading Smooth, I really appreciate it.