Online dating is a minefield and there is no doubt that, even for the most optimistic of daters, logging on to find love can often be more of a chore than a pleasure.
From online Lotharios to men with absolutely no intention of ever meeting up – there is more than one type of man who online dates.
1. The addict
Either recently divorced or eternally single – and like a kid in a candy store. The addict is online so much you think that there must be a fault in his profile settings.
2. The desperado
Recently hit the big 4-0 and realized he was the only one of his friends not to be married. The good news is, when it comes to commitment he’s ready to go, the bad news – he doesn’t care who it’s with.
3. The professional
The professional uses studio photos with a misty filter, his profile reads like a CV and his emails have as much personality as an application for an accounts position in an IT company in Luton.
4. The comedian
My friends tell me I’m funny … I like to make people laugh … I’m a bit of a joker. LOL...NOT.
5. The long distancer
‘Wow, you look amazing, we have so much in common – i’d love to chat! – I live in Inverness but come down to London at least once a year!’
6. The fast mover
Aka the sex pest. The fast mover does not read profiles. Instead preferring to litter his messages with sexual innuendos and ‘hilarious’ comments about melons – the Benny Hill of online dating.
Is looking to meet … anyone with a pulse.
7. The blatant liar
Height goes up, age comes down, the photos are old and believe me, anyone who is earning over 100k does not advertise the fact on an online dating site.
8. The Houdini
Intense emails, IMS requests, life stories and declarations of ‘connections’ and ‘amazing similarities’. The Houdini ‘feels like he’s known you for years’ … until after four months of messaging, when he logs off and never contacts you again.
9. The w**ker
‘If you don’t have a dream, how are you going to make it come true’ … ‘ Did you fall down from the stars’ … ‘love, life, laughter’
10. The reluctant romancer
Aka the miserable bastard. Spot a reluctant romancer by the amount of times he reminds you in his opening paragraph how much he hates online dating, never does this sort of thing, and can’t believe a good-looking girl like you has to resort to it too.
