The New Me!

[Fayble]

The last semester of college for me was the roughest time of my life. I lacked motivation, desire, and the will power to do good for myself. I knew what I should be doing and focusing on but for some reason I didn't care. I fucked up I guess you could say. Nah that's exactly what you should say. I felt lost. And I couldn't find my way out. Well, I eventually did, but it took a lot of fucked up things to happen to me first.



You see when you go into college you always have this mentality of... I'm going to get straight A's with ease. But it's a lot easier said then done. There are a lot of distractions in college. From smoking, to drinking, to clubs, to girls, to just being away from your parents for the first time. Man that's a shit load of distractions if you ask me. Distractions that got to me as much as I'd hate to admit it.



Ok now, here's where I fucked up. There's a special substance called, Weed, which takes your mind off everything important in life and causes you to stare at walls, eat, laugh, talk, and not give a shit about anything. It seems like fun right...? Well, it can be if you have a character trait called Time-management. Something I learned about the hard way. You see high school is a piece of shit compared to college. I used to smoke all the time and still managed to get straight A's. So knowing that, I thought college would be the same way, but it's not. No, it's a whole different ball game. You actually need to study, like a lot. So far I pulled my act together this semester and got A's on all my first tests, and hopefully I can stick with it. I'm probably at the library 5 days a week for like 4 hours a day. Can you say book worm...? haha Well I'm far from it. I just know what I want in life.



It took a lot of fucked up shit to get me determined like this. I lost my scholarship and had to work all Christmas break to make up the money. I disappointed my family, but worst of all I disappointed myself. I know I'm better then this... And I'm proving it to myself now. I spent most of my time looking up motivational videos trying to spark my own source of motivation. The one thing that got to me most is, well, I'm 18 and have had 3 jobs already... I was a busboy, camp counselor, and stock boy at a liquor store. Well, in all of these jobs I learned how I don't want my life to end up. And it's because of those jobs and my experiences in life that keep me going.

 

[Jazzy]

I truly admire you Karrit for turning yourself around. You realized you had a problem and decided to admit that to yourself. Lots of people never admit it and they just get into denial. I've very proud of you and I'm sure your parents are too. Keep up the good work and one day it will all be worth it. If you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to PM me.

 

[Fayble]

Thanks guys, it really means a lot to me that you just said that.

 

[Cranos]

The story seems familiar to me.

I had a similar downfall this year (my first year at university), I studied Japanese Studies, a very hard major because of the language. It was sort of like a dream for me, being able to speak a language like that and I thought I'd do well enough to get me a scholarship so I could go studying in Japan for a year. I studied incredibly hard the first semester, but it didn't matter, my exams were not good enough and I was totally demotivated.



Needless to say I didn't do shit the second semester. I went out at least 3 times a week, didn't study, didn't go to class and I did drugs a lot more. So yeah, my year wasn't exactly successful either.



What I learned about it though, was that dreaming is necessary, but you also need to be realistic. If you set the bar so high that you could never reach it, you'll continuously get disappointed and demotivated. What I'm trying to say is, that as long as you do your best, it's alright. Not a lot of people are smart enough to get straight A's in university all the time, but as long as you tried, you shouldn't feel too bad.

 

[Fayble]

Yeah I totally agree. That's a good way to look at it. I will try harder to satisfy that frame of mind. I could always do better and I know it. As long as you do the best that you can how can you be upset with yourself.

 

[Nebulous]

Giving into temptations (distractions) makes you feel good for the moment but screws you over in the long run.

 

[Raven]

I smoke abit of weed at festivals and stuff, but nothing like that. I have seen the effects of someone who smokes joint after joint and its not nice at all.



I admire you for admitting you had a problem, and making it right, Great job.

 

[Fayble]

Thanks a lot man. Means a lot to me.