What's new

Welcome to Offtopix 👋, Visitor

Off Topix is a well-established general discussion forum that originally opened to the public in 2009! We provide a laid-back atmosphere, and our members are down to earth. We have a ton of content, and fresh stuff is constantly being added. We cover all sorts of topics, so there's bound to be something inside to pique your interest. We welcome anyone and everyone to register and become a member of our awesome community.

🎁

Member Interviews

Feel free to start a thread here! We'd love to ask you some questions and get to know you better. Can't wait to chat!

In the News

Share all current news stories here to inspire discussion and comments. Check here for engaging articles that spark curiosity.

Member Introductions

Welcome to Off Topix! We're excited to have you here. Take this opportunity to introduce yourself to our vibrant community and start connecting with others!

The Off-Topix Movie Rifftrax Thread!

Webster

Retired Snark Master
Administrator
Joined
May 11, 2013
Posts
24,887
Reaction score
13,613
Points
2,755
Location
Morganton, N.C.
Website
conversations-ii.freeforums.net

This was @Daltonio's idea originally, so be sure to give him the credit... (y)

@Daltonio, remember that idea you had for bringing that the Whose Line parody thread? Well, I just thought of a perfect way to start us off: movie spoofs!

First, RoboCop!



(Per TV Tropes) The best example of Black Comedy ever created for any film: @Webster demonstrates ED-209. To demonstrate a typical arrest and disarming procedure, Webster hands another board member, @Wessel, a Desert Eagle and tells him to point it at ED-209.
--ED-209: PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON. YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO COMPLY.
--Webster: I think you better do what it says, Wessel.
[Wessel obliges, and throws the gun towards ED-209. ED-209 takes a step towards Wessel and roars, like a lion]
--ED-209: YOU NOW HAVE FIFTEEN SECONDS TO COMPLY. YOU ARE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF PENAL CODE 113 SECTION NINE.
--Techs: Pull the cord!
--ED-209: YOU NOW HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO COMPLY.
--[The board members on Wessel's side of the table begin retreating as they realize what's about to happen. Wessel tries to shelter among them to confuse ED-209, only for them to shove him in the direction of Nebulous's model of New Detroit]
--Wessel: Help! Help me! HELLLP!
--ED-209: FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE. I AM NOW AUTHORIZED TO USE PHYSICAL FORCE.
--[ED-209 fires on Wessel with both of its guns at full automatic. Wessel is thrown backwards onto the model city and flops about as he is riddled with hundreds of bullets, long after he is most certainly dead. This goes on for a full fifteen seconds before the techs are able to yank the cord out of the motherboard. As the ED-209 shuts down, the terrified executives get back on their feet, and Nebulous buries his face in his hands]
--Nebulous: Somebody want to call a goddamn paramedic? Let's go, @Fae!

*moments later* If you look in the background while Nebulous is talking to Webster & @Crys, you can see the paramedics casually strolling into the boardroom...
 
Good job, Webs!
Thank you, thank you....

BlankGlaringJackrabbit-max-1mb.gif

...good job, @Wessel; you can get up now... :LOL:
 
:clap::clap::clap:
:clap2::clap2::clap2:

Yesssssssss! It has returned! Great work, sir!
 
And the Old Man's only response to the incident?

--@Nebulous: Webster... I'm very disappointed.
--@Webster: I'm sure it's only a glitch. A temporary setback.
--Nebulous: You call this a glitch?!
 
Just remember what happened to @Wessel....
BlankGlaringJackrabbit-max-1mb.gif
 

Create an account or login to post a reply

You must be a member in order to post a reply

Create an account

Create an account here on Off Topix. It's quick & easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Welcome to Offtopix 👋, Visitor

Off Topix is a well-established general discussion forum that originally opened to the public in 2009! We provide a laid-back atmosphere, and our members are down to earth. We have a ton of content, and fresh stuff is constantly being added. We cover all sorts of topics, so there's bound to be something inside to pique your interest. We welcome anyone and everyone to register and become a member of our awesome community.

Theme customization system

You can customize some areas of the forum theme from this menu.

  • Theme customizations unavailable!

    Theme customization fields are not available to you, please contact the administrator for more information.

  • Choose the color combination that reflects your taste
    Background images
    Color gradient backgrounds
Back