The past is the past

[Jazzy]

A lot of people say "the past is the past and it doesn't matter." Do you agree or are some things about a person's past actually important to know?

How far into a new relationship should you be before questioning about the past or giving information about your own past?

 

[Gizmo]

the crap my ex put me through isn't the past is the past no way

 

[~KAGE-008]

I have had lots of things happening on me but most of them were past issues. But for some reason, a similar situation happened less than a month ago. It's still going on these days since there's A LOT of cliques IRL.

 

[Jazzy]

I agree that the past needs to stay in the past. The ONLY exception would be a criminal record that would diretcly still have an impact on the relationship. That should not be hidden and it should be up the both parties to talk it out and decide if that impact is going to make or break the relationship. I'd hate to be in a relationship where someone before my wedding day says: "Oh by the way, I'm a registered sex offender."

 

[Nebulous]

The past is the past. I don't need to know everything but I do need to know important things.

Leave the minor or graphic details out of it. Don't tell me what certain people did in the bedroom because I will get a mental picture of it and I will get pissed off / jealous (I'm only human).

Being with my partner for over 3 years, we seem to be over that whole "discovering new things about each other" phase. I think I know everything important there is to know (and vice versa).

 

[MrDawn]

I guess if it depends on whether your relationship with that person is either conditional or unconditional, and that depends whether its easy or not to put it behind us. I know I more than likely still haven't fully forgiven a few old friends who screwed me over, but hey its in the past. Not everyone forgives and forgets.

 

[Raven]

My past is the past BUT, Horrible things happened to me and that effects me even now. I struggle with my emotions and I struggle with relationships and I have major trust issues.

It's not something I know how to move on from, it will always hang over me. That being said if someone was to ask I would change the subject. I don't talk about what happened to anyone.

 

[wirelessguru1]

The past can definitely affect the present and the future, especially if the old energy was not fully processed...

 

[Dee]

The past is the past, yes, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still affect someone to this day. I know I can say I'm still affected by my past. It's helped to shape the person I've become.

 

[~KAGE-008]

My past is the past BUT, Horrible things happened to me and that effects me even now. I struggle with my emotions and I struggle with relationships and I have major trust issues.

It's not something I know how to move on from, it will always hang over me. That being said if someone was to ask I would change the subject. I don't talk about what happened to anyone.

I agree with the first statement. When my dad was fired back in 2009, lots of bad things happened to me and my family. There were two years where didn't have a good New Years spending since we didn't have the motivation to do so.

And about the second, well I agree with that too. Talking about my past to someone at college didn't work well, and I discovered that the hard way.

 

[Capt. RiskyBoots]

I've been through a lot of crap in the past and it's hard for me to get away from it. It comes back and it's mostly the ones that depress me and ruin my day in seconds.

I've talked to some people about some of the horrific incidents of my past, but I choose not to talk about it in high succession.

 

[~KAGE-008]

I've talked to some people about some of the horrific incidents of my past, but I choose not to talk about it in high succession.

Same here. I lost one important friend just because I tried to do that. Suppose I should shut up about it and pretend that nothing happened when I talk to new people. But I'm leaving all that 'bad thing' venting to therapists though.

 

[Cory]

I think the past is what shapes us all and builds character, wisdom, and confidence. They're so many of those inspiring/motivational quotes out there that tell you to let your past go because you can't do anything about it and I agree with that. I've been depressed, anxious and an overall wreck from past things I've done or people have done, and being that way does nothing but make you miserable. It's hard to let some things go, but in the end, you have to or else you're going to continue to be miserable.

 

[Smiley]

Past stops being important once you've gone past of the past, at which point it becomes a history. Phew. That was tense.

 

[Nebulous]

I think the past is what shapes us all and builds character, wisdom, and confidence. They're so many of those inspiring/motivational quotes out there that tell you to let your past go because you can't do anything about it and I agree with that. I've been depressed, anxious and an overall wreck from past things I've done or people have done, and being that way does nothing but make you miserable. It's hard to let some things go, but in the end, you have to or else you're going to continue to be miserable.

Past stops being important once you've gone past of the past, at which point it becomes a history. Phew. That was tense.

You guys are so insightful

 

[Smiley]

I can't speak for Cory, but I'm just a smartass.

 

[Nebulous]

I can't speak for Cory, but I'm just a smartass.

 

[Smiley]