Two Sides to Every Story

[KO896]

There are two sides to every story when it comes to things that happen on a forum. You can't prevent people from spreading untruths about you, so how do you make sure your side of the story gets out there?

 

[JoelR]

There are two sides to every story when it comes to things that happen on a forum. You can't prevent people from spreading untruths about you, so how do you make sure your side of the story gets out there?

Are you posing this question as a regular member, or community admin?

Because I think that can change the context of the answer.

If you're the community admin / community leader, a critical question to ask yourself: who will care if I don't answer and to what extent? I'm the admin, I've cleaned up the mess, which is the first priority. Does anyone care outside of a core group of diehard members who only care for the gossip? And even if they care, will they care enough to leave?

If you think public messaging is required, I'm going to say something counter intuitive. It's not about he said / she said. That only drags you to the same level as the problem maker. If you're going to message as the community leader, you should talk about how you investigated, the framework in which you made a decision, and certain conclusions were unfortunate but ultimately for the better of the community.

Members don't actually need to know both sides of the story. Members do need to know that you - as the community leader - carefully evaluated all sides, you're thoughtful, you're considerate, you're not rash, and that you care about the health of the community.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

There are two sides to every story when it comes to things that happen on a forum. You can't prevent people from spreading untruths about you, so how do you make sure your side of the story gets out there?

Nothing really. If someone comes to me privately with more questions on whatever was said about me, I'll give them my side of the story.

 

[KO896]

Are you posing this question as a regular member, or community admin?

Because I think that can change the context of the answer.

If you're the community admin / community leader, a critical question to ask yourself: who will care if I don't answer and to what extent? I'm the admin, I've cleaned up the mess, which is the first priority. Does anyone care outside of a core group of diehard members who only care for the gossip? And even if they care, will they care enough to leave?

If you think public messaging is required, I'm going to say something counter intuitive. It's not about he said / she said. That only drags you to the same level as the problem maker. If you're going to message as the community leader, you should talk about how you investigated, the framework in which you made a decision, and certain conclusions were unfortunate but ultimately for the better of the community.

Members don't actually need to know both sides of the story. Members do need to know that you - as the community leader - carefully evaluated all sides, you're thoughtful, you're considerate, you're not rash, and that you care about the health of the community.

I have been on both sides...so I'd like to hear what others think since the majority of us on this forum have also been on both sides.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

Are you posing this question as a regular member, or community admin?

Because I think that can change the context of the answer.

If you're the community admin / community leader, a critical question to ask yourself: who will care if I don't answer and to what extent? I'm the admin, I've cleaned up the mess, which is the first priority. Does anyone care outside of a core group of diehard members who only care for the gossip? And even if they care, will they care enough to leave?

If you think public messaging is required, I'm going to say something counter intuitive. It's not about he said / she said. That only drags you to the same level as the problem maker. If you're going to message as the community leader, you should talk about how you investigated, the framework in which you made a decision, and certain conclusions were unfortunate but ultimately for the better of the community.

Members don't actually need to know both sides of the story. Members do need to know that you - as the community leader - carefully evaluated all sides, you're thoughtful, you're considerate, you're not rash, and that you care about the health of the community.

Agreed 💯
Often it’s the person who gossips the most who ends up looking the troublemaker, regardless of who’s right or wrong. So it’s best to rise above the difficult members and walk with dignity. That way ppl will see you as the professional one by not spreading “rumours”.