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Would you be upset?

BeautifulAngel

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Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months now I got him a job in the mines since my dad is basically a manager and very high up in the mines.



Anyways he works basically 4 on then 5 off then 5 on and 4 off, and when he has a day off, every first day he has off he always wants to hang out with his friends and then the next day or the day after that he wants to hang out with me. I'm just getting a little jealous and upset because I feel like I'm coming last. I can't stand that since I always put him first no matter what and whenever I have time off I'd like to hang out with him.



Would you be upset and jealous as well or would you not mind?
 
Well if I had a girl doing that to me, I wouldn't mind at first. But if she kept doing that. I would have an issue with it. I think you probably should just talk to him.
 
Sci said:
Well if I had a girl doing that to me, I wouldn't mind at first. But if she kept doing that. I would have an issue with it. I think you probably should just talk to him.



I did, he thinks I'm starting drama....
 
BeautifulAngel said:
I did, he thinks I'm starting drama....

Seriously? Cause he should be putting you first and then his hang out time second.
 
Sci said:
Seriously? Cause he should be putting you first and then his hang out time second.



He just got upset and now he's getting angry at me.
 
BeautifulAngel said:
He just got upset and now he's getting angry at me.

I'm sorry, but to me. It just sounds like he's putting you as an after thought and not liking that you are saying anything.
 
Sci said:
I'm sorry, but to me. It just sounds like he's putting you as an after thought and not liking that you are saying anything.



For sure and I'm not trying to sound stuck up or full of myself but I can get a lot of other guys so why should I put up with this if I don't deserve it
 
What does it matter if it is the 1st day or the 2nd day or the 3rd day?

Its still a whole day devoted to spending time with you.
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I'd probably put no thought into it. But I'm not the type of person who over analyzes everything to find hidden meanings behind everything. Most of the time there is none anyway.



Also, why cant you be with him and his friends at the same time? I never had a problem bringing a girl I was dating around my friends.
 
I would not be upset or jealous. He's probably got a stressful job working in the mines. Everyone needs their own space once in awhile. He finds this by hanging out with his friends. Expecting him to spend every day off with you, sounds a little suffocating to me. You surely can't expecting him to spend 24/7 with you and ignore his friends. When he's with his friends, why not take that time and hang out with yours? It's not like he's totally ignoring you when he's got days off. I think if you keep pushing this issue, he's just going to walk away from the relationship.
 
Nebulous said:
What does it matter if it is the 1st day or the 2nd day or the 3rd day?

Its still a whole day devoted to spending time with you.
smile.png




I'd probably put no thought into it. But I'm not the type of person who over analyzes everything to find hidden meanings behind everything. Most of the time there is none anyway.



Also, why cant you be with him and his friends at the same time? I never had a problem bringing a girl I was dating around my friends.



He doesn't believe in his friends and his girlfriend hanging out together..



Also I think the reason why I'm so upset is that he always puts his friends first, for example on our first date we were supposed to go eat out at a fancy restaurant and then go back to his place to watch some movies and hang out. Well after we went to go eat out his friend called asking him to go out for a ride so basically when his friend came and picked us up he asked his friend if he could bring me home... I was a bit hurt and upset because it was supposed to be our day but again his friend interupted.



It seems like we barely get a full day to spend with each other because his friends will call him and he'll ditch me for them and it doesn't help that I only get to see him once or twice a week.
 
Jazzy said:
I would not be upset or jealous. He's probably got a stressful job working in the mines. Everyone needs their own space once in awhile. He finds this by hanging out with his friends. Expecting him to spend every day off with you, sounds a little suffocating to me. You surely can't expecting him to spend 24/7 with you and ignore his friends. When he's with his friends, why not take that time and hang out with yours? It's not like he's totally ignoring you when he's got days off. I think if you keep pushing this issue, he's just going to walk away from the relationship.



Hmm yeah you're right, though when he is with his friends he does ignore me and it kind of bothers me because even when I'm with my friends if he texts me I still reply and what not.



I don't expect him to hang out with me 24/7 it's just he spends a lot more time with his friends then he does with me, and at first I had no issue with that but now in 2 months I'm moving out of town for school 2 hours away and also getting a job so we wont be able to see each other much and that's what I was trying to explain to him but then he just gets upset and says im starting drama :/
 
So the guy is spending time with you, just not as much time as you want him to.... give him a break and don't crowd him otherwise you will wreck his head and drive him away.



Also, by talking about how you got him the job, indicates that you feel that he owes you.. or that you now own him, that should not be the case. You got him the job which was decent, but don't hold him to ransom for it.
 
Kind of sounds like he's not ready for a serious relationship. It's not a good sign when you're trying to express your feelings and all he does is get upset. In any relationship, there has to be communication. Without it, I don't see any relationship working. Perhaps you could try to ignore him and see how he reacts to it.
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