Your Voicemail

[Nebulous]

What is the message you have up on your answering machine or voicemail?



Mine says: Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

 

[The Dragon Master]

The standard voice mail message that comes with the phone.

 

[Nebulous]

The standard voice mail message that comes with the phone.

How boring.. Why dont you record a message?

 

[The Dragon Master]

Because what happens if I have a stalker? If it's a generic voicemail message of a random woman then the stalker won't know if it's me



Plus I can't be arsed

 

[Nebulous]

Because what happens if I have a stalker? If it's a generic voicemail message of a random woman then the stalker won't know if it's me

FAIL.

 

[The Dragon Master]

How do I fail?

 

[Nebulous]

You cant go through life being afraid to do things because What if this or What if that

Its just a voice mail message on your phone. lol

 

[Jazzy]

Hi. I'm probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

 

[The Dragon Master]

You cant go through life being afraid to do things because What if this or What if that

Its just a voice mail message on your phone. lol

I don't go through life thinking that

I haven't changed it because I sound funny on the phone, costs me money to get to voicemail, and can't be bothered.



But if I do change it. I wanna change it to this:



RING...RING...click



Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.



If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.



If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.



If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.



If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.



If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.



If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.



If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

 

[Jazzy]

That's a good one Dragon and I'm going to go change mine

 

[Masri]

Mine is this:



Hello?

Little pause...

Oh, hey man, what's up?

Another little pause...

Oh that's cool.

Another little pause...

Well I can't get to the phone now, so just leave me a message after the beep and I'll try to call you back.



People talk to my voicemail all the time, lol.

 

[Nebulous]

I don't go through life thinking that

I haven't changed it because I sound funny on the phone, costs me money to get to voicemail, and can't be bothered.



But if I do change it. I wanna change it to this:



RING...RING...click



Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.



If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.



If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.



If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.



If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.



If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.



If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.



If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

NIce. I found something like that on youtube once. I held my phone up to the speaker and recorded it as my voicemail. People would always get a laugh out of it.

However people from my work call me and whatnot, so I would rather have a normal voicemail up.

 

[Madyy]

Mine is this:



Hello?

Little pause...

Oh, hey man, what's up?

Another little pause...

Oh that's cool.

Another little pause...

Well I can't get to the phone now, so just leave me a message after the beep and I'll try to call you back.



People talk to my voicemail all the time, lol.

One of my friends had her voicemail like this for a long time back in middle school...would make everyone so mad. XD



Mine just says...Hey, this is Madelyn - sorry I missed your call! Please leave a message and I'll call you back ASAP



But everyone knows not to call me because I never answer. XD

 

[Corleone]

The standard voice mail message that comes with the phone.

Same here. Home and cell phone are that way.