I hate the fact that I was so depressed. Especially during the time I was studying abroad in 2020-2021. Sure, covid was to blame, but I think my depression also played a big part in my unhappiness during my time there. If I wasn't so depressed, I could've enjoyed more things, I could've had more energy to do some exciting stuff, but I did not really because of that stupid depression and now my time is up. I also hate myself for kind of using my studying abroad as an "escape" and healing for my depression. But no, it only made it so much worse. I could've waited for maybe a year or two before I finally decide to pursue further education. Maybe I could've gotten a much better job. Now I feel like back then every decision I made had something to do with my depression, sadness, and unhappiness. I'm so full of regrets.
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Today's vent
- Thread starter Dollhouse
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Sorry to hear that you're battling depression. I hope you figure out a way to dig yourself out of that! :hug;
Thats for sure.
Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:
- Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
- Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
- Loss of energy or increased fatigue
- Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing, handwringing) or slowed movements or speech (these actions must be severe enough to be observable by others)
- Feeling worthless or guilty
- Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
- Thoughts of death or suicide
Sorry can't discuss it here, it's too personal and painful
No worries. No need to share anything you're not comfortable with
I know exactly how you feel, hon. I'm dysthymic, so I get bouts of extreme depression regularly. Suicidal thoughts abound and are very hard to ward off, and yes, regrets absolutely build as you do more and more to hide it, to cope, to just move through life. I've made terrible life decisions based on depression, but there's not much you can do about them as depression dictates your life far more than you do. If you ever want to chat, my inbox is always open for you
I know exactly how you feel, hon. I'm dysthymic, so I get bouts of extreme depression regularly. Suicidal thoughts abound and are very hard to ward off, and yes, regrets absolutely build as you do more and more to hide it, to cope, to just move through life. I've made terrible life decisions based on depression, but there's not much you can do about them as depression dictates your life far more than you do. If you ever want to chat, my inbox is always open for you
