Any tips for a person to start dating, specially given these times?
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To start dating?
- Thread starter Demon_skeith
- Start date
There isn't really a guide for this, the only reason for me to date someone is that the subject must provide joy and happiness whenever i'm with them. Never date someone because he/she looks cute. You'll never know what's inside.
But start off by walking up to her and say hi and get her talking 
There's no right or wrong answer. If someone is saying all the right words and is making you happy. That's great.
But fair warning.
Take it slow financially and I don't mean you don't have to wait to be intimate with them or jump in bed with them. All I'm saying is. Don't move in with them. Give that a few years. I've known people who move in with someone, and within a month, a few months, or in half a year, one of them is homeless and having to move in with their parents or relative. Some of them end up on the streets. So moving in with a woman or another guy is a no go.
You need to keep your own residence and they need to keep theirs. It's okay to have sleep overs. But you need YOUR space. I say that because if things are getting rocky and rough. You have a place to go to get away from them. I was married for 12 years and I wish I had a place to go to get away. I'm glad I have one now. A lot of girls don't like that I don't let them move in or that I don't move in with them. Tough.
I've had a total of 3 women come and live with me. One when I was 18, and that lasted for a few months because we could not get along. She wanted to fight ALL of the time about stupid stuff that didn't matter. One I married and was with for 12 years. The last one was one of the worst girls I ever dated and she stayed with me for 2 and half months. She was horrible. She treated my kids badly and lied about everything. So, she moved back in with her parents and we haven't spoken since and that was 6 months ago. I was smart enough not to put her on the lease because deep down, I didn't trust her and I wanted my very own exit out of the relationship if worse came to worse.
So you also need an exit plan. Which is why you don't let them move in with you AND never ever share your bank account with them unless you get married, then the marital rights of the marriage says you have to.
I'm still single because I don't want to go home and put up with some girl's crap. I'm sick of going home and fighting with someone. I've been in tons of relationships and I'm tired of being played. I'm tired of being the nice guy who takes the lady out and wines and dines her, and picks up the bills. No I'm done. The next girl is going to have work hard for me. I'm sick of being that guy.
But fair warning.
Take it slow financially and I don't mean you don't have to wait to be intimate with them or jump in bed with them. All I'm saying is. Don't move in with them. Give that a few years. I've known people who move in with someone, and within a month, a few months, or in half a year, one of them is homeless and having to move in with their parents or relative. Some of them end up on the streets. So moving in with a woman or another guy is a no go.
You need to keep your own residence and they need to keep theirs. It's okay to have sleep overs. But you need YOUR space. I say that because if things are getting rocky and rough. You have a place to go to get away from them. I was married for 12 years and I wish I had a place to go to get away. I'm glad I have one now. A lot of girls don't like that I don't let them move in or that I don't move in with them. Tough.
I've had a total of 3 women come and live with me. One when I was 18, and that lasted for a few months because we could not get along. She wanted to fight ALL of the time about stupid stuff that didn't matter. One I married and was with for 12 years. The last one was one of the worst girls I ever dated and she stayed with me for 2 and half months. She was horrible. She treated my kids badly and lied about everything. So, she moved back in with her parents and we haven't spoken since and that was 6 months ago. I was smart enough not to put her on the lease because deep down, I didn't trust her and I wanted my very own exit out of the relationship if worse came to worse.
So you also need an exit plan. Which is why you don't let them move in with you AND never ever share your bank account with them unless you get married, then the marital rights of the marriage says you have to.
I'm still single because I don't want to go home and put up with some girl's crap. I'm sick of going home and fighting with someone. I've been in tons of relationships and I'm tired of being played. I'm tired of being the nice guy who takes the lady out and wines and dines her, and picks up the bills. No I'm done. The next girl is going to have work hard for me. I'm sick of being that guy.
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Wow man, i can totally see your point. I was in a relationship for almost 5 years and for the most of the times i was the one who would pay up everything from dinner to brand new cellphones and i never was a guy of that had money. I'm in a new relationship and i'm preparing myself for life (getting a house and stuff) and plan my marriage slowly. My girl insist in moving ASAP though.
By all means. Slow down. It's okay to have sex with someone you care about. It's okay to go out on dates. But it cannot be rushed. By her rushing things. She becomes in control of you. Whether it's intentional of unintentional.
Live separately for a few years. By doing that you're keeping the relationship in check. She can stay the night as much as you want her too, or you can go to her place. But really, once the honey moon phase wears off and you two get into it. You will wish you had your own living space to get away.
Some women like to stay up late and fight and keep you up late all night long. If that starts it's best to hang out at her house. That way you can leave when she gets mouthy and that way, you don't end up being the bad guy and having to ask her to leave so you can have your space.
This only works if she's not living with her parents. But you will want to see a woman who has her own house or apartment.
So if she does have her own residence. You'll want to stay at her place. While you're at her apartment or whatever. You have the most control. When you leave after an argument and don't want to stay over. You're making a point, not only are you not the bad guy and it's not at your place of residence. She'll feel bad. Because then, she'll feel like she pushed you away. Works great. It also fixes her not to do it. It also shows her why you don't want her to move in with you.
However a girl who lives with her parents still has that argument that if she moves in with you, than you guys can do whatever you want. Sure, I've been in that situation when I was younger.
My ex wife lived with her parents and she moved in with me. BAD IDEA.
I met my ex wife in late 2007. Started seeing her in 2008, she moved in and we got married 7 months later. We fought a lot. had 2 kids, fought more and got divorced after 12 years. We weren't right each other and I've learned to do things differently.
When we got separated. She threw me out of the apartment I was paying for. I had to go homeless. I hated that and I swore that would never ever happen to me again. So I moved in with my mother. Saved up and got an apartment. Than I used savings and filed for divorce.
I made the same bad mistake with another girl who I was seeing for 2 and half months. She was more controlling. So I kicked her out and have never regretted it. For the record.... I WILL NOT MOVE ANY MORE WOMEN IN WITH ME.
Every other girl I've run into since my divorce was finalized always wants to move in or they constantly want to stay the night. Nope I'll go to their place. That way if they start crap, I can leave. I won't be stuck with the drama. I'll leave and they can cool it and I'll come back later or after a few days.
You see that. I'm the one in control. Not them. The point is, once they move in. You lose that control of the relationship.
Sounds rough there Terminated, nah I'm looking for something slow and sweet but yet at the point of my life I have to get things going as I turn 30 in a few months.
Thanks @Terminated for your words, i read them carefully to learn and try to be in your shoes, i talked to her yesterday about this and she agreed, we shall wait for a considerable amount of time before moving together and try living together.
Excellent I agree. I've made a lot of bad decisions that resulted in some toxic relationships. Especially really regretting having them move in.
That's a good decision. We don't go into relationships or marriages thinking about the possibility that anything and everything that can go wrong, could go wrong. However it doesn't hurt to have an exit strategy should it go wrong.
If you move her in and it doesn't work out. You could end up stuck with them and have to through Hell or High Water fighting your way out of a bad relationship that you're not happy with. So it's safe to have an exit strategy.
If she screws up and gives you second thoughts. You can break up with her and you don't have to worry about moving her out or you finding a new residence. It can be a clean break and you can quickly move on.
My hubby and I will be married for 19 years in a couple of weeks. We didn't move in together or have any sexual relations until we got married.
I would take your time dating someone and don't rush into things. If someone is a bad choice as far as a partner, it's going to get harder and harder for them to keep up that level of actions during your relationship. Then it'll come out sooner or later that they're a bad partner. I'm not saying everyone is bad. My hubby and I don't really have fights or arguments or anything like that. It's possible to find someone to live with and peacefully co-exist. But you're not going to find that if you rush into things is all.
I would take your time dating someone and don't rush into things. If someone is a bad choice as far as a partner, it's going to get harder and harder for them to keep up that level of actions during your relationship. Then it'll come out sooner or later that they're a bad partner. I'm not saying everyone is bad. My hubby and I don't really have fights or arguments or anything like that. It's possible to find someone to live with and peacefully co-exist. But you're not going to find that if you rush into things is all.
My problem is I need to meet someone at an anime and or video game con, and they are good as closed for the next few years...
Or your problem is you just haven't met the right person. It doesn't matter where you meet them as long as things work out. I met my ex wife through a friend. I was surprised we had anything in common at all. She and I didn't like each other at first. But we became friends and one thing led to another.
I even used Tinder and met some girls on there that lead to relationships after my divorce. In my opinion, Tinder does work and it's not just for hook ups from my own personal experiences. I got laid way more on Myspace back when that was a thing. But I wasn't originally looking for hook ups on Myspace. I used it for everything from friends to dating. Just some girls really do want to skip everything and go right to the bedroom.
The point is. If you try you will meet someone. If you met someone at a anime or video game con, that'd be long distance relationship and those for the most part do not work unless one of you is willing to give up everything you ever worked on. Willing to risk it all on a leap of faith and go move in with someone in another state or have them move in with you. That is a huge gamble in and around itself. I mean, if things went horribly wrong and none of your relatives and family were willing to support you and this woman or man caused you to go homeless. What then?
If you had to move for someone, knowing that if things went south and you'd end up homeless......would you go that far?
Wouldn't it be safe just to try local on Tinder? I mean, I actually got dates on it.
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Did you ever try a website called meetup? The purpose of Meetup is to introduce people with shared interested to each other. There are categories to narrow down your search (for example: Sci-Fi and Gaming) Maybe you'll find someone on this site.
