Are White Lies Irresponsible?

[Jazzy]

We all tell white lies, but when we do, are we being irresponsible?



And when we tell white lies as parents—I’ll leave work early for your soccer game—are we harming our kids?



“Don’t feel bad,” says psychologist Alan Hilfer. “We all tend to lie to our children on a regular basis.” Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. Those kinds of little white lies, which stoke kids’ imaginations and make for happy memories, are apparently pretty benign.



In fact, our ability to tell white lies actually starts when we are young children and our parents and other adults coax us to spare the feelings of others—Tell grandma how much you love the book she sent you.



According to Professor Victoria Talwar at McGill University, not only are junior’s white lies OK, they’re actually a positive developmental milestone that all children need to achieve.



Such “pro-social” lying shows that kids have developed sympathy and empathy, which are important aspects of social communication, says Professor Talwar. Her revealing hidden-camera tests with children show that fibbing is part of normal brain development.



So if lying starts as normal, when are white lies no longer white? Is the current political trend of “misspeaking” something less than lying? Is bluffing OK? Can lying ever be responsible?



Tell us what you think.



Link: http://www.responsibilityproject.co...nting_G=WhiteLie_Lie_M=Broad#fbid=RLNA4vBE2-5

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

There is different kinds of lying. There is positive lying and negative lying.



I can lie to someone and say You look great today! and put them in a good mood. <-- Thats fine.



I can tell someone I slept with your wife while you were at work yesterday. <-- Thats not fine.. That will destroy a marriage and the lives of two people.

 

[Wolvendeer]

I think the lying to make someone feel better is fine under general use. It is no substitute, however, for communicating about a problem should one exist between you and the other party.



Lying for neutral reasons, such as in the office to get things done that need to be done is dangerous. Telling a partial truth and letting the other person interpret it, however, is necessary even if it isn't personally preferable.



Lying just to get you way on something, however, I am rather strongly against. We all do it from time to time, but we should always try to make it right.

 

[DrLeftover]

As a married man I have to say this..... you MUST lie to your wife when she asks you things like Do I look fat? , Do you think she is prettier than I am? , and after she's spent an hour cooking dinner.... Does that taste all right?



In that situation, telling the truth serves no purpose other than to get you either into an argument or make her mad for a week.



My question would be... why do women as such things when they KNOW the answer unless they want their husbands to lie to them.