Can't stop being reclusive..

[James]

(Well this is a tad different, and probably not exactly worthy of being merged..)



I'm been acting reclusive at youth group for the past few weeks..



It all started on that Wednesday, when the girls unexpectably came into the room and I went batcrap insane, running around..



Well last night, I was calm and sitting at a table of a guy and a couple of girls, things were fine until the girl that remember waved at me at the bowling alley sat at that table and I got nervous..



I then took my finger and pointed at her(nervously) and asked her if she was the girl at the bowling alley that waved, after recieving confirmation.. just as one of the girls asked how the bowling alley party was, I ran to the empty table (that I usually pre-occupy) and hid.



Then I hid in the back and I only came out of there to ask the pastor a few questions(What are we supposed to bring to the Christmas Party?) and usually I resumed hiding in the back.



Later on, I went to the same girl from before and played her hair a bit to get her attention(Even though you did that gently, you're a weirdo) and I apologized for earlier and then said(and it was dry as British humor) that was just a defense mechanism.



I also apologized to another girl that was at the same table.(It's just something I do. I prefer to only talk to girls one-on-one)



While I still have a green light for Singing Sinatra upon stage, I dunno.(and I really want to do that.)



I remember that one of the pastor's friends who usually goes there, said something along the lines of..



If you participate in the group and people get to know you better, maybe one day a girl will say something like Hey, I've got a friend who might be interested in you..



But even though our youth group will be joining together, the chances are humorously slim.



Asked the pastor for advice on the topic and he said that I obtained a type of fear of girls, because I'm around them.



Before that I didn't even think about girls and I was a normal gamer/anime fan.



If I could have anime-type nosebleeds in real life, I would've already had 20...

 

[Jazzy]

Sounds to me like you have very low self esteem and self confidence. Both of these play key factors in our happiness and success in life. My suggestion is to seek professional help from a psychotherapist who is qualified to help you.

 

[DrLeftover]

ditto

 

[James]

I can try to participate in the group and just say nothing when around girls.



If they try to talk to me, I'll just say I'm not a really talkative person, but I don't mind listening. So how's your day?.



If I am asked questions, just gonna give short answers like..



If asked question What do you like to do for fun/What are you interested in?



My answer:Watching anime and playing video games. Let's point the conversation back to you.

 

[Jazzy]

That's just putting a band-aide on your problem. That band-aide isn't going to help you. Sooner or later it will fall off and you will have accomplished nothing. There's nothing to be scared or ashamed off to ask for some professional help. Without it, I'm worried you're just going to get even more reclusive than you are now.

 

[James]

And getting girls off my mind will take care of part of the problem.

 

[Jazzy]

And getting girls off my mind will take care of part of the problem.

What about the other part? Do you think you have low self esteem and lack confidence in yourself?

 

[James]

I'm proud of myself and who I am.



I wouldn't say I have full on low self-esteem and confidence.



I'm rather a reserved person.

 

[Jazzy]

I'm rather a reserved person.

A reserved person (IMO) doesn't go batcrap insane, running all around and hiding. A reserved person is a quiet person who does not do things, like you do, to attract attention.



You can stop being reclusive but you need help with overcoming whatever is causing it. Once you find the cause then you can then confront it and move forward. It's like your stuck and you refuse help.

 

[James]

Well I mean it's being around girls that's a big part of the problem.



Perhaps ignoring them is the best medicine.

 

[Jazzy]

Well I mean it's being around girls that's a big part of the problem.



Perhaps ignoring them is the best medicine.

You need to do whatever makes you feel more comfortable.

 

[James]

But like I said, if a girl wants to talk to me, she's going to be the one doing most of the talking.



Questions? Just going to give short answers and point the conversation back to her.

 

[Jazzy]

But like I said, if a girl wants to talk to me, she's going to be the one doing most of the talking.



Questions? Just going to give short answers and point the conversation back to her.

Asked the pastor for advice on the topic and he said that I obtained a type of fear of girls, because I'm around them.

I agree with the pastor. You need to deal with this and only you can deal with it. Wish I could help but I'm not a professional.

 

[James]

Yes, because a shrink won't exactly help me with this.



All I gotta do is avoid girls and make them think I'm creepy, without hiding.



I think saying most of my quotes up on stage, after singing Blue Moon will work well enough.