Christmas Jokes

[Ash]

Share your worst Christmas jokes here with the community ?

 

[Duskpire]

I have the best Christmas joke ever!

Santa Claus was delivering gifts on Christmas Eve. He hops down the chimney of one house and sees a bare naked lady. The naked lady isn't all that hot and precedes to ask Santa if he'd stay awhile. Santa replies "ho ho ho got to go got to deliver the toys to all the kiddies you know" and goes up the chimney

After a few more houses the same thing happens. Santa goes down the chimney to find a bare naked lady. Again she's average at best. She says "Santa why don't you take a break with me for awhile?" Santa replies " Ho Ho Ho got to go got to deliver the toys to all the kiddies you know" and goes back up the chimney

After a few more houses the same thing happens again. Santa goes down the chimney to find a bare naked lady. Except this time she's smoking hot. She says " Santa won't you rest a bit and stay with me awhile?" To this Santa replies "Hey Hey Hey gotta stay, Can't go up the chimney with my dick this way!"

 

[Prometheus]

Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.

 

[Page]

 

[Duskpire]

Why is Santa so damn jolly?​

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

[Page]

Q. Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?

Spoiler: A

A. Holly-wood!

 

[Prometheus]

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

 

[Duskpire]

 

[Page]

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

A stick.

 

[Ash]

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

A stick.

Was the boomerang covered in Christmas wrapping at least? That would help make it a Christmas joke

 

[Page]

Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying “moron” to him!

 

[Duskpire]

 

[Page]

Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!

 

[Duskpire]

 

[Page]

 

[Ash]

 

[Page]

"Which author steals train sets from under the Christmas tree?

"Nick Hornby.”

 

[Prometheus]

Peter: Someone must be mad at Frosty the Snowman.
Isaiah: Why?
Peter: Because they gave him two black eyes.

 

[Page]

How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!