Yesterday I ran some errands, got a haircut and saw Wrath of Man in the theater. On the way home, I stopped to get groceries and was nearly run over by the people trying to do last minute shopping to find flowers or other gifts for Mother's Day. The cashier was ringing up my groceries and I turned around to pay and the guy behind me, purchasing only flowers, was standing near the till and I wanted to go off on the guy. I'm trying to buy groceries, food, drinks, etc, not gifts and I hadn't even paid yet.
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Time for another one of my long-winded rants. This one will have two parts.
Part One: Family Sucks
We all know how annoying family can be at times and how most of the time, we tolerate the little nuances because at the end of the day, they're family. You can hope to rely on them when times get tough or you're going through a rough patch.
Enter my dad and his father, a retired Vietnam veteran, who is suffering from Parkinson's disease, dementia and a whole other slew of mental and physical ailments.
The logical deduction would be that my father is going to do whatever he can to go take care of his daddy, because that's what children do in a majority of cultures. The young take care of the elderly when they can no longer take care of themselves.
Well, my sister-in-law proceeds to get upset and offended that how dare my father retire and move to Tennessee to take care of said parent. How dare he move so far away from them and his granddaughters. Naturally, my dad was hurt by the comment. Who wouldn't be? Me? I was f*cking furious. They have been on a small ledge for a while now and she just up and went and leaped off the ledge into the abyss of I no longer give a fuck about you. I will continue to care about my nieces. Their parents though? They can forget me ever talking to them.
Second part of family sucks. I call my mom earlier this week and she proceeds to ask, before anything else, what are you getting your niece for her birthday and and when are you sending it? First, I tell her the truth, I have no idea. I'm going to wait to get paid and then pay my bills, because they trump any gift for a birthday of a niece. Second, I'm fuming but no better than to vent to her about it because she will guilt-trip me emotionally because she knows she can. I was upset because she didn't ask about the upcoming vacation I've been waiting and planning for a year for, am I excited to see family and friends and be back home or any other number of questions a normal parent would ask their child when they're coming home to visit and spend time locally.
Nope, I clearly know where her priorities lay and I am sick of it. I am her child first. I should supersede her grandchildren. Yes, I care about them. But they live 30 minutes away, tops, and she can see them whenever she wants and usually does because their parents love to leave them with her to watch for the day so they can get a break.
Part Two: Why even date?
I tried to explain this situation to a co-worker and I'll do my best to do so here so everyone understands (those of you who want to read it anyway) what happened and why I did what I did.
So, I matched with this girl who lives locally, the very same city as me. A rare thing indeed. She makes it known about two weeks ago from this week, that she has a child and is wary of meeting people online. I file the information away, okay with it at the time, and move on. We message back and forth for a week or so and then this past Monday, after the holiday. I message her and ask her about the holiday weekend, which was also her child's birthday apparently. She tells me that everything was fine and I say great, ask her about her upcoming weekend and she informs me that it will be like normal. Great, I say, want to get together this weekend? She proceeds to tell me again that she is leery about meeting people online. I say awesome; but, I'm not going to wait forever and that it's not fair to either of us that she drag me along. She says fine, I guess we won't meet because her child will always come first and blah blah blah. I said fair enough, I respect that and wish her luck.
Afterward, I was furious. I was venting that it was absolutely ludicrous that you're on an online dating app when you're so leery about meeting people online. How are you supposed to know whether or not you're going to mesh well with someone? You can only learn so much through messaging. I, personally, need that physical interaction to judge that fifth sense I get that tells me whether or not there's even something there worth investing in.
