Daughter’s Sleepover

[Jazzy]

Scenario:



One month ago, your 14-year-old daughter had a sleepover with her best female friend, which went very well and both girls had a good time. However, now, she is telling you that she is inviting her male friend over to do the same thing. Neither you, nor her, have ever viewed him as a boyfriend or an intimate partner of any kind, just a friend who happens to be male. He has agreed to come and stay with your daughter overnight, but you are worried that the event could escalate into teen sexuality and consider forbidding him to stay overnight, or telling your daughter not to invite him. Yet, you don’t want to be unfair to your daughter or her friend. She insists to you that he is just a casual friend and no sexual activity will occur. What would you do?

 

[DrLeftover]

Say no and put up with the that's not fair, you hate me screaming.



I am not her BFF, I am her father.

 

[Jazzy]

For all I know this male friend is gay. Just saying....

 

[Fatal Dawn]

Girls doing sleepovers with boys is something very foreign to me. Personally, I am always wary of what can happen; something seemingly innocent can easily turn into something intimate. No, I wouldn't allow it.

 

[Sinon]

So wait. They already discussed and planned this sleepover before even asking? In that case no. My house, you ask me if you want to do something like that.



Otherwise, it would depend entirely on the maturity of the daughter, and whether I trust her or not.

 

[Bluezone777]

Based on what is provided, there is no reason as to why you would be suspicious of him as it seems more likely to be born from paranoia then actual facts. It is rather unfair and foolish to base decisions off of assumptions and paranoia. I don't see a problem with agreeing to the sleepover then coming to you if it is okay. Why bother you with such a question if they are only going to find out that one or the other is just going to end up saying no for whatever reason?



I think it's important for a parent to be approachable and to give out trust when it is earned. Otherwise, you discourage open communication which can lead to all sorts of messy and very preventable problems.