Dear Santa Letter

[Secret Santa]

A hilarious and crazy letter to Santa (me) for the `grown-up' girls and boys!



Fill in the blanks and post your letter!

 

[DrLeftover]

It asked: Are you ready for this?



Well.... are you?

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Neither. I'm a grown man.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at She knows's Christmas party. It was So does she who spiked the punch with too much Bourbon. I can't help it if I drank fifth glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like fishbait.

I thought it was funny when I put I'll get back to you on that's pith helmet on my head and danced the square on the Lt Worf's chair while singing `Won't Be Fooled Again'. I didn't mean to break She knows's sybian and don't know why She knows would sue me for Watergate.

I don't remember calling Henry's wife a (*)^#$@+^|! Liberal---even though she looked like one with translucent eye shadow and pale lipstick!

And when I threw up on none of your business's husband's pain, it was only because I ate too much of that buffet.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my motorhome through my neighbor's payment. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a bloody hell's worth Politician and have me arrested for genocide for fun and profit!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all screaming fantods and (many explitives deleted). And I'm really not to blame for any of this adjective stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and orgasmic yours,

DocL (Really a nice Neither. I'm a grown man!)

P.S. It's only infinity bucks!

PS: MadLibs made a science out of this in the Eighties!

 

[Jazzy]

Here's my letter:





Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Smooth's Christmas party. It was Evil Eye who spiked the punch with too much Beer. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Bad Breath.

I thought it was funny when I put Dragon's Bra on my head and danced the Tango on the Bed while singing `Born To Be Wild'. I didn't mean to break Smooth's Laptop and don't know why Smooth would sue me for Murder.

I don't remember calling DrLeftover's wife a Bizarre Pig---even though she looked like one with Black eye shadow and Purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Boogie's husband's Leg, it was only because I ate too much of that Pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Motorcycle through my neighbor's Kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Wild Dog and have me arrested for Burglary!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Moaning and Slippery. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Deep stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Upstairs yours,

Jazzy (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 13 bucks!

 

[Evil Eye]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good eye.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Smooth's Christmas party. It was Jazzy who spiked the punch with too much Vodka. I can't help it if I drank π glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pie.

I thought it was funny when I put Santa's hat on my head and danced the chicken dance on the sofa while singing `This is the Life'. I didn't mean to break Smooth's lamp and don't know why Smooth would sue me for arson.

I don't remember calling DrLeftover's wife a friendly grasshopper---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and lime lipstick!

And when I threw up on Boogie's husband's head, it was only because I ate too much of that pie or maybe [font=cursive,sans-serif]Ï€.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my bike through my neighbor's lavatory. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a flaming flamingo and have me arrested for stealing a flamingo!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all feathered and beaked. And I'm really not to blame for any of this weird stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Not Really yours,

Evil Eye (Really a nice eye!)

P.S. It's only 100[font=cursive,sans-serif]Ï€ bucks!

 

[Jazzy]

These are so funny!

Hope more members do this!