Do You Judge A Person In The Beginning or Give It Time?

[Dazzal]

Do you judge a person you first meet right away or do you give it time?​

 

[MrDawn]

Judge? No. I just don't trust anyone easily and keep them within arms length. I have enough friends IRL.

 

[Cory]

I try not to judge them at first sight, but sometimes my judgment will get the best of me. You really can't judge much until you get to know a person, a person could look like a complete psycho, but they could be the nicest person in the world.

I too have trust issues and have never formed many friendships and zero relationships because of it, among other issues.

 

[MrDawn]

I wanted to add that you kind of have to make snap judgments on the friends we choose. They could have ulterior motives. Especially if you have kids. Do you know how easy it is for someone to come along & fuck up your life?

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Yes and no.

If they are average looking and have a seemingly “normal” temperament / demeanor, then I won’t make any snap judgements until I’ve known them for a while.

However a crackhead, a shady person or someone who just gives off “bad vibes” will be judged harshly and from the get-go.

 

[PGen98]

I think we all do, invariably, at least to some degree, but I try to stay as open minded as possible about someone until I get the chance to know them, or if they give me a reason to distrust or dislike them.

 

[passenger]

or if they give me a reason to distrust or dislike them.

Soooooo True!! You can be very open with & like someone initially, until & unless they "lower the boom" on you. It seems impossible for me to feel welcoming toward that person ever again.

 

[PGen98]

Soooooo True!! You can be very open with & like someone initially, until & unless they "lower the boom" on you. It seems impossible for me to feel welcoming toward that person ever again.

Yep, most definitely! Once they break that trust or that good vibe it's very hard to get it back.

 

[MrDawn]

Yep, most definitely! Once they break that trust or that good vibe it's very hard to get it back.

They break my trust & we're done. I don't go out of my way to make friends. I primarily keep acquaintances. Calling someone a friend does not make it so. I don't like it when someone at work calls me their friend. I didn't verbally agree to it. I believe friendship has to be demonstrated on both sides and reciprocated. I'm not willing to make new friends IRL right now. To some a friend means someone they can sponge off of or help enable them with their bad habits.

 

[PGen98]

They break my trust & we're done. I don't go out of my way to make friends. I primarily keep acquaintances. Calling someone a friend does not make it so. I don't like it when someone at work calls me their friend. I didn't verbally agree to it. I believe friendship has to be demonstrated on both sides and reciprocated. I'm not willing to make new friends IRL right now. To some a friend means someone they can sponge off of or help enable them with their bad habits.

Agreed, I don't call someone a friend until I know I can trust them and it's a two-way street.

 

[Henrywrites]

I give people time in my life. There is no point pushing people out based on first impression. I wouldn't want to be treated by my first impression too.

 

[MrDawn]

Agreed, I don't call someone a friend until I know I can trust them and it's a two-way street.

It annoys me when people call me a friend only to proceed to have nothing to do with me or lie about hanging out. I feel like that cheapens the definition.

 

[PGen98]

It annoys me when people call me a friend only to proceed to have nothing to do with me or lie about hanging out. I feel like that cheapens the definition.

It absolutely does! Friendship is something special