Fake Friends

[Corleone]

Have you ever had a friend who you thought was your friend, at the time, but later found out that he/she was no friend of yours?



Just had that happen. I'm not going to go into great detail, but I just basically told him the truth and how I felt, and evidently he didn't like what I had to say. He basically just blew up on me, so I just told him that he needs to chill. Now he won't talk to me. I'm not in to all this drama and all, but I just hate the fact I lost a friend for just being honest with him over something that wasn't even that big of a deal.



Also, it's not the first time I've lost a good friend. It really sucks losing a good friend over something so stupid. But, here's how I look at it, I'm not going to change because you want me to, just so that I can make you happy, and vice versa, I don't want anyone to change for me, however, not everyone respects both sides of the boundaries.



In the end, he just blew up even more when I told him to chill and I just told him I've had enough of his disrespect and called the friendship off until/unless he wants to start acting like a true friend and behaving like one. I just have had it with friends who just end up being less of a friend than you ever thought they could be before it's all said and done.



Whatever. It is what it is. I tried to work it out, but if he doesn't want to, then I suppose there's not much I can do about it.

 

[Jazzy]

IMO, there are two types of friends:



Fair-weather friend:

A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you.



True friend: A true friend is someone who has touched your heart and will stay there. Someone you care for, who cares for you. Someone you can do the stupidest things around and always be forgiven. Someone you'll instantly remember in ten years because they are in your heart and not just your mind. They have the ability to change you, even if they don't. They will be etched in your memories forever.



Seems to me reading your post, these two were only fair-weather friends and NOT true friends to you.

 

[Cranos]

In high school a few friends of mine talked behind my back. I felt pretty betrayed when I found out but oh well, I'm better off without them.

 

[Corleone]

Thanks Jazzy! I just hate losing friends who you truly feel are your friends, but then in a snap they're gone with the wind. But, life goes on. I'll meet new friends and hopefully they'll last.

Cranos, definitely, anyone who is going to talk behind your back is no friend at all. I guess we're in the same boat, but as you said, you are better off without them, and so am I.

 

[BeautifulAngel]

I agree with Jazzy..



I've had my fair share of fake friends.. I don't want to get into detail either but when I really needed them because something terrible happened in my life they basically just got angry at me and told me to such it up and get over it.



Also I've had fake friends where they were just my friends because I knew people and they wanted to get to know them too, or to get with a guy or I've had a friend that only wanted to be my friend when no one else was around and when she needed someone to talk to.



I honestly have basically no friends anymore. I'm tired of being screwed over and I'm tired of bending backwards for people who just stab me in the back later.



I have basically 4 true friends and that's my parents, my brother and my boyfriend. My sister can sometimes be a true friend but sometimes she just tries to control me to much and I don't like that.



Either way I'm sorry to hear that happened to you but like you said you shouldn't have to change for anyone and vice versa. You'll find true friends soon just don't give up =)

 

[Fayble]

I have a lot of acquaintances but not many friends. In high school I used to talk a lot of shit about people. I got joy out of it because I thought I was better then them, but now I realize how stupid that was and I pretty much grew out of it. I even apologized to a few people recently and we're closer then ever. But yea I feel ya and honestly no natter how popular someone is it's only for their looks or possessions. Everyone truly only has a few friends the rest are acquaintances. Don't get them confused just keep your friends close and that's all that matters. I love how people who have 5,000 facebook friends actually think they have 5,000 friends...

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

I only have like 37 facebook freinds & they are all friends & family.

I only have had two really good friends who I thought of as like a brother. The rest were just around for a while and faded away as time passed. A few of my friends now are probably the fader type.

The 2 I mentioned above wont fade away though.

 

[Evil Eye]

The 2 I mentioned above wont fade away though.

O.O

Be honest, Nebulous, do you have them locked up somewhere?

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

O.O

Be honest, Nebulous, do you have them locked up somewhere?

No.

One doesnt even live in town anymore but we still keep in contact regularly and hang out whenever possible. Even if it is once every month or two.

 

[Gilly]

After a very brief 'pop in', I find that posting on Off Topix is untenable now for me. Somebody I thought was a good friend has just played a very nasty and malicious trick on me and stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife. That has devastated me and destroyed the trust I had in people that I have accepted as friends. Because of this I find I can no longer accept what anybody says in forums like Off Topix, as the truth.



Also, because that person is still on Off Topix, I cannot be. This has made me rather sad because I thought I was going to enjoy posting here as you all seemed so welcoming and friendly. I have been, basically, virtually destroyed by this. If I had not been so naive and open with people, and ready to help my friends, maybe this would not have happened to me.



Sorry, that's it for me here. All the best to most of you.



I did type another paragraph but somebody deleted it ! Who is able to delete somebody else's post ?



It said that perhaps it would be noticeable who is, maybe, the ex-friend on Off Topix, by checking who has made reference to this post., Maybe the guilty one won't refer to this post or query the contents, like Sci has. I hasten to add that Sci has got nothing to do with what has happened. Thanks Sci for your response !

Edit



By the way, I could have made life very awkward for this person, but I haven't and I won't. I am not spiteful. I will just hope that her conscience will nag at her a little bit now and then. But anybody reading this, please learn a lesson from me - be very careful who you get personally involved with on the internet.

 

[Jazzy]

After a very brief 'pop in', I find that posting on Off Topix is untenable now for me. Somebody I thought was a good friend has just played a very nasty and malicious trick on me and stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife. That has devastated me and destroyed the trust I had in people that I have accepted as friends. Because of this I find I can no longer accept what anybody says in forums like Off Topix, as the truth.



Also, because that person is still on Off Topix, I cannot be. This has made me rather sad because I thought I was going to enjoy posting here as you all seemed so welcoming and friendly. I have been, basically, virtually destroyed by this. If I had not been so naive and open with people, and ready to help my friends, maybe this would not have happened to me.

It's sad and unfortunately it happens both on forums and in RL as well. It's happened to me so many times that I've lost count. I even had a person I met on a forum who I felt was a very good friend. She turned out to be a fake and when I broke friendship, she stalked me from forum to forum for over a year. She even went so far as to take private emails/PM's I sent her, change the wording and send them off to other members. If she couldn't have me as a friend, she wanted others not to like me either. IMO, there should be a law against people who copy, paste and post private emails/PM's without the permission from the author. I enjoyed the forum and there was no way I was leaving over a psycho like this.



There are two quotes that pretty much sum up my feelings:



There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it, and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard you forget the bad, and focus solely on the good. after all, life is too short to be anything but happy.



There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past. There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.



I don't dwell on such people as life it too short. I've been burnt and I move on. It has, however, made me extremely cautious as to who I befriend.

 

[Sarah1975]

~Don't sweat the small stuff~



When friends abandon you in your lowest hour, they were never friends at all... Just passers by. When they betray you, they are only betraying themselves. When they hurt you, they will receive hurt back, that's karma

.

 

[seasidemike]

Have you ever had a friend who you thought was your friend, at the time, but later found out that he/she was no friend of yours?



Just had that happen. I'm not going to go into great detail, but I just basically told him the truth and how I felt, and evidently he didn't like what I had to say. He basically just blew up on me, so I just told him that he needs to chill. Now he won't talk to me. I'm not in to all this drama and all, but I just hate the fact I lost a friend for just being honest with him over something that wasn't even that big of a deal.



Also, it's not the first time I've lost a good friend. It really sucks losing a good friend over something so stupid. But, here's how I look at it, I'm not going to change because you want me to, just so that I can make you happy, and vice versa, I don't want anyone to change for me, however, not everyone respects both sides of the boundaries.



In the end, he just blew up even more when I told him to chill and I just told him I've had enough of his disrespect and called the friendship off until/unless he wants to start acting like a true friend and behaving like one. I just have had it with friends who just end up being less of a friend than you ever thought they could be before it's all said and done.



Whatever. It is what it is. I tried to work it out, but if he doesn't want to, then I suppose there's not much I can do about it.

Little dude.. I like you

You remind me how dramatic life is when you are young when even losing a friend is a major event.

As life goes on and you move around you find that friends come and go, your scope of a wide network of friends becomes narrower and you end up going through life with maybe a few good friend, that time or distance does not break.

I made and lost friends, it happens.

 

[seasidemike]

I mean.. like I am here at work, and within the next 24 hours I am going to have to fire a guy I have been friends with for over 10 years...

I wonder how this will impact things..

 

[Jazzy]

I mean.. like I am here at work, and within the next 24 hours I am going to have to fire a guy I have been friends with for over 10 years...

I wonder how this will impact things..

This is a hard one and I hope he understands and you two can remain friends.

 

[seasidemike]

This is a hard one and I hope he understands and you two can remain friends.

I hope so as well.. I have had a pit in my stomach the last two days since I was given the order....