#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

[Nebulous]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/18/five-words-to-ruin-a-job_n_6497208.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News

If you've ever bombed a job interview, you know how it feels to replay the whole humiliating experience in your head over and over again. (If you say you haven't, we don't believe you.)

So maybe it was a sense of communal catharsis that helped #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview to become a trending topic on Twitter this weekend, hot on the heels of #FiveWordsToRuinADate. We sincerely hope none of the following examples were learned from experience. But there's some good wisdom here about the exact sorts of things you never, ever want to bring up when meeting with a potential employer.

Ever.

@RabbiWolpe

This is a stepping stone. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview @HeerJeet

@AdamWeinstein

"Ha whoa, you're on Tinder"
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@delaneywilliams

"Is your supervisor's job open?" #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@ReporterAmber

Hey, pants are optional, right? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@johnbowman

This is Catherine, my mommy. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@edit_susan

Need to take this call #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@Richard_Kadrey

I'm not cannibalistic per se. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@saladinahmed

Please use my Lycan name. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@timoneil5000

My dad pays your salary. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@darth

#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
oh was this your chair

@MelindaDC

"You mean 'fewer,' not 'less.' " #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@dumbassgenius

This is the craziest dream.
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview

@ILLCapitano94

I can't count #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
1:35 AM - 18 Jan 2015

How would you ruin a job interview in five words?

 

[DrLeftover]

I was part of an interview committee when a temp job was budgeted in our office for a project.

We were sent several candidates, then called back and asked for more because of the first six... let's see.

One didn't show up for the interview, didn't call, nothing. The temp agency spent two days tracking her down again and she said she didn't want to do interviews.

Three of them appeared to be totally disinterested, one spent most of the time looking out the window.

Another one didn't understand the concept of 'workflow'. You know, a service order comes in, you enter the tracking number and the name of the agency and if it is for "THIS or THAT" you send it to him, and if it is for "ANYTHING ELSE" you send it to me.

The other one said they really didn't want a job, they just had to go on interviews to get a sheet signed for their probation officer. No, I'm not kidding.

 

[Jazzy]

I don't want the job.

 

[seasidemike]

'How's your work, life balance?'
------------------------------------------------------------------
How long is lunch time?

 

[Jazzy]

Do you test for drugs?

 

[seasidemike]

I don't give a shit

 

[Webster]

I'm from the U.S. government...
Hi, my name is Freezy...
What's a job application again?

 

[Dee]

Fuck off you filthy nobs.

 

[seasidemike]