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I can't stand it any longer!

Raven

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Minute I walked through the house door last night my mum shouts to my dad The f***ing bitch has madde me f***ing late.



So I said what bitch, .... Bad idea, If only I had come home 10 minutes later.



She proceeded to should in my ear about me being an alcy. blah blah blah.



Admit your an alcoholic or admit that you just don't give a s**t about me



What the f***!?!?!?!?!!

I an't an alchy and she's my mum, course I care about her!



Take those bottles to the bottle bank. So I did. Half of them were'nt even mine!!



You do nothing for me, never lift a finger in this house



Right then from today I am doing NOTHING for her, Not one god damn thing! Because I take her everywhere. Im like her own personal taxi, I do my bit around the house, I look after the animals. But not anymore.



Was thinking last night of all the stuff I have actually done for her, and then she says that I have never done anything.



I looked after a paralysed head injury most of my childhood because is was to damn pissed to.



Now she 'doesn't drink' haha, thats a freaking joke!



Every single time she is home i am always in the firing line, nothing I do is ever good enough.



So..... I'm looking for a 1 bedroomed flat.

I can't take the verbal abuse anymore.
 
How old is she? Maybe she is going through the change (menopause). Women can be quite moody at that stage in their life.



An apartment would be good though. Ive been on my own since I was 18. If I can do it, you can do it!
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50. She's always been like this though, Originally I thought it was just down to her drinking.



It's I'm frightened of saying something back because I know that the verbal abuse will turn to psyical.



Also I am afraid of what I can do. Push me to far and I have no control over my temper.
 
I used to rent a room from an english woman in her 50's (my friends mom.. she's from liverpool I think)... She would pop open a bottle of wine when she got home from work and it would be gone by 8pm. I'd make sure to be out of the house or in my room with the door shut after 7pm.. Or else
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Oh dear! My mum used to drink a bottle or 2 a night. I drink max 3 cans of beer. But not very often, Most of the time now I drink 1 or 2 cans a night... Or nothing at all.



She says I drink to much but at Yule she bought me, a tankard, Big bottle of JD (And then continued to moan about me drinking it... Only just finished it.) and 3 bottles of ale... Plus she'd bought a big crate of stella for me and dad over the festive period!



I mean what is wrong with her, She buys it then bitches that I drink to much, Is she stupid or what?!
 
Yeah thats like giving a kid some candy then getting mad at them for eating it.
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Anyways, me and my mom got along horribly (which is why she kicked me out at 18 ), I resented her for about a year but then I got over it and our relationship grew stronger and we had better bond because of it.

Perhaps if you moved out, you and her would get along better.
 
Yea probably. Was looking at flats around the city centre last night. Going to ask some friends if they know of anyone looking for a flatmate
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Revolution said:
Yeah probably. Was looking at some apartments downtown last night. Going to ask some friends if they know of anyone looking for a roommate
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Americanized your post for those who might not understand.
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Yuck. Roommates are horrible. Live by yourself. Even if you have to eat noodles every night.
 
Carry said:
Yuck. Roommates are horrible. Live by yourself. Even if you have to eat noodles every night.



I have to agree there. Ive never had a good experience with roommates.
 
Nebulous said:
Americanized your post for those who might not understand.
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haha ok. I would only live with people I know. Otherwise I dont care if I just have 4 walls and a roof. so long as I have some music
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I moved in with a friend. 6 months later we werent friends anymore, I moved out and never spoke to him again.
 
I lived by myself for a few months and it was just great, I gained self respect and self confidence. I live with my fiance now, but I'm so glad that I lived alone for a little while, just to prove to myself that I am just fine by myself.

If you can afford it, it's worth doing.
 
Currently i'm not in the right financial situation. After coming home today my mum seems to have calmed down alot.



Going to continue saving and keep looking for a nice place.
 
Revolution: What does your dad do when all of this is happening?
 
Wow your mom sounds like a very mean woman, I was blessed with my mom she's a really good mom. It's my dad I don't get along with though, becuase he's a jerk.



It sounds to me like your mother has problems of her own and is just blaming you for it, it sounds as if she thinks she is perfect but she isn't and in which she just blames everyone else nd your the main target. My neighbor is just like that with her and her daughter, Everyone's horrible except for her and her daughter even though her daughter is only 7 and is dumber than a lamp!



Moving out sounds like the best thing to do.
 
The drinking is probably causing her to act this way, and I'm afraid until she realizes what she is saying to you while she's sober, she'll never understand what's going on. Try talking to her when she's not drinking and let her know what she has been saying to you, and I bet if you even recorded all that she says to you, then showed her what she's been saying, hopefully that'd motivate her to change. Don't let it get to you, that's key. If you're going to move out, make sure you're serious about doing it, and make sure you can even support yourself. I'm not saying it's a bad idea to go and live out on your own, but it's a big investment. Groceries, rent, clothes, shoes, the wash, and whatever else you want to buy. I hope the best for you and your mom, maybe you could resolve this without moving out, but if that's what you need to do, go for it and be sincere.
 
she may well have depression or something else that is making her so unhappy.



Remember sometimes people don't know how they act and how it affects others, just be as nice as you can be to her, she is your mom and she does love you.



when she starts, just walk away.
 
Sounds like she has a couple of issues. Menopause and some sort of alcohol issue. The woman needs hormones.

After you move out, check into some groups like Al-Anon. It's not for alcoholics (which I don't think you are) but for people that have to deal with alcoholics. (spouses, grown children, family members)

Good luck.....
 
This whole situation just sucks to be in, obviously. It's good that you're looking for a place of your own, to get some distance between you and your mum.

However, until you're actually out of the house, it would be wisest to still do chores around the house for her when she asks you to. Outright refusing will only prove her point (in her head) and increase the tension between you both.



Hope everything works out well (and soon!) in the end.
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PS That hug smily is really creepy.
 

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