It's just too much...

[Kasynlie]

I'm really only posting this because I feel I need to just get it out of my system and have someone try to understand everything. My apologies in advance if it's gets confusing.



I have far too much on my plate right now. I am really worried and am getting frequently upset about the entire situation. I just finished school for the year and with Christmas approaching, it's not helping anything. I just got a volunteer job with the police watching CCTV cameras on weekend nights. I was told to just pop into the station whenever and have a play and familiarize myself with the equipment and once I feel competent, they'd put me on the roster.



Now, dad got me a paying job at the place he works for two weeks. It's a boring and tiring job and I told him I didn't want it, but he almost forced to me take it, so I took it, just to make him happy. Now, driving to this job, I crashed so I now have no car to drive around in, so I'm getting a ride to work with dad making my hours much longer.



Having crashed the car, dad says that he's going to fix it, but the parts he has ordered are in pink - my car is silver. I have to pay to get them painted myself, because dad paid for the parts themselves. So that's going to be half of my pay. And I can't get to the police station either to practice because I'm working during the day and have no car to get their after work to practice.



This is going to make me look as though I'm not keen on having the volunteer job, which is not the case. It's what I want to do, and I feel it's what I have to do to help my future.



Because dad is paying for the parts for the car, he says he can't get my new computer for Christmas which I have wanted for many months now. I told him I would but the other half of my pay towards it and he pays the rest of it, but I was planning on spending my earnings on new clothes for school next year.



And what makes all this much harder is the fact that my annoying older, stronger brother annoys and bullys me to the point of tears in some cases. But my dad never believes my story.



And in terms of school. Next year is my final year at high school. I'm really worried about my exam results for this year. I know I didn't do stunning, if I passed any of them it would be a miracle. I really don't want to repeat this year because the shame of doing so would just through me over the edge.



I've also been sleeping more than usual, except on weekdays when I have to get up at 4:30am. I find that when I'm sleeping I don't have to worry about my problems. I slept on the floor under the pool table this morning...



I don't know what to do anymore. I am just completely lost in a world of chaos, confusion and torture.

 

[Nebulous]

Your volunteer job is only on weekends and you have the rest of the week off because you are out of school. Whats the big deal? I'm sure you could handle another part time job.

 

[DanteX]

Classic, textbook case of depression. I know this because I suffer from depression and what I'm hearing from you, BG, are precisely the things I felt and had to deal with myself. Get to the doctor and tell him about this. If you're around 17 or 18 (Last year of school told me), you are highly susceptible to depression. If it weren't for Prozac, I would have killed at least 2 people by now. True story.

That.



Sometimes prescription meds (i.e. adderol prescriptions to four year olds) are bad...but im some cases it may be the only way towards a healthier lifestyle.

 

[Princess]

Definitely a case of depression. I don't know if drugs are the answer--but you do need to find some kind of outlet. Talk. Talk. and talk some more......

Also, yes--see the doctor. And talk with your parents.



Sometimes you have to prioritize your wants and needs. You WANT a new computer. But you apparently NEED your car fixed. One thing that you will learn as you get older is that not everyone gets everything they want. I had a discussion with my neice (16 years old) this afternoon. If I had what I wanted, I'd be 23 years old (again) drive a candy apple red corvette, and have more money than Bill Gates. That however, just doesn't appear to be in the cards......

 

[Kasynlie]

I don't know if I would go as far as to say I have depression. I think everything that could happen has happened... and all at once. I think I'm just gonna take a step back and see the entire picture and work at each piece bit by bit. Once everything has been sorted I should be back to my normal laughing happy self.

 

[Corleone]

BreakGuy, while what you've experienced is a huge deal, it is not the end of the world. You probably should try to set your priorities straight, because that new computer you wanted for Christmas is going towards your car, and that's part of life. My sister had a wreck a few months back and lied and said she was at school when she was really on her way to her boyfriend's house when she hit a car b/c she ran a stop sign. My father lost trust with her and she had to start working a part-time job to help pay for the insurance, but she now has a new car, new to her, and it may not be the nicest car, but it gets her around and she has learned to be grateful what she has and not what she wants. Life is rough at times and you have to do what you have to do to get by, and unfortunately you wrecked your car so now it is time to get on your feet and take responsibility for the wreckage. Be glad you're alive, because it could be so much worse and you really don't know how good you have it until you lose it all. Besides, a Flamin' pink car is a chick magnet..?. lol Next, as far as the volunteer job is concerned, by no means is donating your time to help the police department a bad thing and I hope you continue it some day, but right now it may not be the right time for you to be volunteering your time elsewhere if you're having other personal problems in your life that you need to attend to first. Until you understand the world is still spinning, you will continue to be down and upset about everything, which is fine, because it is okay to not be okay, but you shouldn’t stay in that position, especially throughout your high school life. Enjoy your last year, because you may have passed, you never know, but with a poor attitude you will only cause yourself more anxiety. Just take a breath and call it a day. It is never too late to get things together, because we all go through storms and it is like you know it is never going to end, but we all know that storms eventually move on and things will get better. The sun is still shining and you still have a car, even if it is pink, and you still have a job, regardless of the task, during bad economic times, and your Dad is probably glad you took the job. Right now, that job may be the only job you can get, but keep your head up high. Not much is permanent, it is just a phase you’re going through and it can only get better from here, right? Stay in there bud, you'll be A' O' K'.

 

[Kasynlie]

I think I know what to do. I'll send an email to the police telling them why I haven't been in for any practice and that I still want the job, it's just gonna take a little longer than I originally planned to get started.



I've got just one more week of work, and by then either my car will be fixed (and painted

) or I'll have another car to drive around in. Once that is done, I'll be able to get in for a bit of practice at the police station and hopefully be rostered on by or near the start of 2010.



As for the things I want, they can wait. Hopefully I might get some cash for Christmas from family, and that'll help pay for my clothes and computer...



As for my brother, I guess I'll just have to try my best to ignore him as much as I can when he's being an ass.



Finally, school. Whatever happens, happens. Can't change the past. Maybe I'll be able to explain to the Heads of Departments/Deans that I screwed around this year and am capable of doing the next level.

 

[phatuis]

How old is your brother?



Also, notifying the Police about the job is a good idea, explain what has happened, if they dont understand, then leave, seriously.

 

[Kasynlie]

My brother is 18 years old.