My life is sucking again.. What am i going to do now?

[Awesomeslayerg]

When i was young, i used to do stupid things.. But now im a teen. Heres how my story goes: I used to cry alot when i was little and i used to show people my private area when i was little. So i had to stay inside using the computer. The computer was my only friend.. Now im addicted to it. When i went to school people always use to pick on me. They wouldnt stop. Eventually they did stop when i was in 5th grade. I was happy at least. Then later in 6th grade, this girl called me cute. Soon enough there were other girls that i thought they tought i was cute. Later in 8th grade i liked her alot. Now i dont since she got in to fights back then. In middle school years 6-8, no one liked me that much. They said i was annoying which i thought is right. Since then i started having little depression and sucidal thoughts. In 9th grade, the first few weeks of school was great.. You already know why theres a hint here. The girl went to some other school and as of last week returned to my school. I was really pissed she was back. I told some of her friends i dont like her. When she came back my life was turning upside down. Everyone started hating me. Girls wouldnt hug me anymore. I feel corrupted. Now almost most people think im annoying. I cried last night thinking of this but now im pissed at my self.. I feel like i should die. I grew up in a wicked family. My family is poor and my pearents always argue. My brother is crazy (hitting himself etc..) I feel like killing my self.. I dont know what to do.. I ignored people long enough. What should i do? Can someone please answer me? I feel very miserable. Im literally crying.

 

[Skillet]

First things first, I've been in a similar situation, feeling that nobody understood me. I just came out of high school a year and a half ago. Kids can be rude and stuck up. There is no getting around that. People can manipulate people into thinking other things. It will get better. Middle and high school people are rude. I used to be a complete social intovert. But once you finish it, the world opens up. People aren't as rude as they once were. I myself now go out all the time with friends, and have girlfriend who I adore.



Don't let one person turn your life around.



As for family issues, been there too. My father left my mother, and died when I was young. My mother was a single mom raising me and my one sister (at the time). I never saw her, because she had to work 50 hours/wwek to support us. She'd work 1-9, so I'd see her a little bit before I went to bed.



Things turned around. My mother found the love of her dreams, and we are now a happy family. The same can happen. It took 15 years of living with nothing for my life to turn around.



You yourself only have a few more years at home, then you get to live life yourself. It will get better. Just give it some more time.

 

[Ashley]

While I wouldn't exactly say that I'm addicted to being online (because I'm not) I have been in your shoes before. Not quite someone saying I was cute, but I had been teased a lot. I have a condition called Psoriases which is under control now because I'm on that Enbryl shot. But before I was put on that, anytime the air got ridiculously dry (winter) my skin would really flare up really bad and there were times when I would scratch so hard it would start bleeding right away from my scratching. You would never believe how many people do not know about this disease. I remember one year when it was just starting to warm up outside, and I had just one tiny patch on one of my arms (it was beginning to heal up as the weather was getting warmer and more moist) I remember some of my teacher's aides (I am learning disabled) thinking that I actually had ringworm (which I'm assuming is similar to psoriasas?) A few years down the road, I got my current job. We don't have much of a dress code where I work. For instance, if the weather is decent out as in the summer months, you can actually wear shorts and a t-shirt to work, and even a tank top, just as long as it's not one of those kinds with the really skimpy straps (the kind that almost resembles a bathing suit). Not long after I'd been hired, one of my bosses (it's actually a married couple who owns and manages the place) had noticed that I still had a tiny patch in a visible area, and like my teachers, they feared that it was contagious (which it isn't). Thankfully, my job coaches have had experiences with clients like myself who have this disease, and they were eventually able to convince our managers that my chances of spreading this crap on to others was zero percent.. I also have a weak immune system, so I get sick very easily. One day I'll feel fine, and the next thing you know, I'm at the dr's office finding out what's up. That's another thing I was teased about as well, kids either thought I was faking it (which I wasn't. When you have a weak immune system, once you come down with something, it hits you harder and faster than it would on someone who's completely 100% healthy) or else they'd think i was having the time of my life with all the days off I was getting because of doctor's and illnesses. To this day I still find myself wishing that some of those kids (even though we're friends now) would just put themselves in my shoes for at least a day, then they'd know that my life isn't exactly a joy ride. All you got to do is just take it one day at a time and things will look up sooner or later. You just have to hang in there. It's hard, I know, and even as an adult I still have people who don't understand why I'm not working a 40 hour a week job or why I can't do something others can. But I cope with it and it's all a matter of taking it one day at a time. I'm also pretty small for my age as well. At a former job my Mom used to work for, she's had people asking her if the reason I was so little for my age is if I were anerexic (not true). So yeah.