Teenage Mother / Mistake

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

So I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about this girl who just had a child at a very young age. We will call the young mom: Katie.



Katie's mom wanted to take Katie out to dinner and give Katie a mother's day present. Katie's dad said Its not going to happen. We arent going to support a mistake.



What are your thoughts on how this Dad is acting towards his daughter?

 

[Corleone]

Sounds harsh from reading it from that context, but I don't know the entire story, so even though I want to say that's mean and cruel, I don't know anything else about it to speak truthfully on how I fill.



How old was she? Have any other details?

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

No.. Thats pretty much all they said and then people called in to voice their opinions. Some people were pretty opinionated. It was entertaining.

 

[Corleone]

Yeah, but it's too easy to take a story out of context and turn it into something completely different. If I had a daughter and she got pregnant at a young age while living under my house, she wouldn't be celebrating mother's day as long as I'm around. A mother isn't a child herself, so if anyone's going to be celebrating the day should be the real parents who gave birth to the child who gave birth to another child whom the parents will be taking care of. Just because it has her DNA doesn't make her a mother. Unless she's supporting this child and taking care of it solely on her own, then she shouldn't celebrate the day, because real mothers have to wait so that they can provide and nurture their family, without risking both of their futures.

 

[Corleone]

You can have a child, but that doesn't make you a mother. Sounds bad, but then again, we don't know the full story.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

The dad is way out of line. That is his grandchild.. Referring to the child as a mistake is disgusting. A child is a blessing and should be celebrated. The fact that the daughter delivered a healthy baby into the world entitles her to this day of recognition just like every other mother in the world.

Sure she shouldn't of had the baby at that stage in her life but what is done is done. Get over it and start a loving family.. Not one full of resentment and bitterness. I wouldn't want any child growing up in that type of environment.

 

[Kasynlie]

I understand where the dad is coming from. It's like saying to Katie if he were to give her a gift, you know what, you did something stupid and had a baby at your age, so here you go here's a *insert gift*.



But at the the same time, he needs to be supportive of his daughter, and I'm sure he's doing so, but he must feel like he is supporting a wrong decision.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

I had a child at a relatively young age... Sure there was 2nd thoughts and worried looks when my ex was pregnant but once she was born all that went out the window.

My family was thrilled to have my daughter as a part of the family. They were totally supportive of me and very excited to have a new addition to the family. They continue to be to this day.

 

[Temerit]

A child is a blessing and should be celebrated.

Well it depends... some people want an education.... for many teenagers the pregnancy itself is far from a blessing. But then again if you have such aspirations in life, you probably shouldn't be having sex. I'm looking to go into medical school in the future, so having a child wouldn't be a blessing right now. Yes the child itself may be a blessing, but the timing would be unfortunate and would make it impossible to do what I want to with my life. So we use contraception, the pill, condoms, if condom breaks plan B, and if she were to get pregnant she would take the abortion pill. I couldn't have sex at this point of time in my life with someone who wouldn't get an abortion.



Life is a weird thing to say the least.



But the day is in the wrong here, 100%.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Whatever the parent has going on in their life has nothing to do with the child. Its not the child's fault the parent is a teenager or wants to go to college or whatever. If you are prepared to take part in adult activities then you should be prepared to handle the possible side effects from those activities.

Also Ive known several people who were with girls that claimed they would get an abortion... but once they got pregnant they decided to keep the baby. The baby inside of them plays with their emotions and maternal instincts kick in.

 

[Temerit]

I'm confident that she would do it. Perhaps I underestimate the persuasive power of a couple hundred celled embryo though... All she has to do is take a pill and miscarry...



With her parents as they are, I'm confident that she would not pursue giving birth to the child. With the way she would be treated at school, the stress etc. Honestly even if she wasn't dead set against having a child (which she is) you'd be suprised how much my opinion would weigh in.

Its not the child's fault the parent is a teenager or wants to go to college or whatever. If you are prepared to take part in adult activities then you should be prepared to handle the possible side effects from those activities.

I'm prepared. I wish I were sterile though, that's almost a more desirable trait nowdays with envitrofertilization.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

She could be extremely adamant about it.. You can be confident all you want. You could make her sign a document saying she will have an abortion but once that baby is in there, its a whole different ball game.

Seen it a million times. Even had it happen to me but the girl ended up miscarrying a few months later.



My daughter's mom never said she would have an abortion though. Once she was pregnant that word never came up once.

 

[Temerit]

Nebulous.... I realize there is always the possibility. But I'm willing to take that very small risk and will deal with the consequences if condoms+pill+planb fails and my girlfriend decides not to have an abortion and she decides not to give it up for adoption.



I would not treat my child the way this father has.



I know the possible consequences of my actions.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Nebulous.... I realize there is always the possibility. But I'm willing to take that very small risk and will deal with the consequences if condoms+pill+planb fails and my girlfriend decides not to have an abortion and she decides not to give it up for adoption.



I would not treat my child the way this father has.



I know the possible consequences of my actions.

Yes and your dreams of being a doctor or whatever would go right out the window. You'd have to get a blue collar job and support your family instead of doing what you wanted to do.

If/when it does happen, 5 or 10 years later you may look back and think to yourself.. Wow I should have just waited to have sex. 10 to 30 minutes of pleasure wasn't worth screwing up my life goals at all.



But when I was your age I said the same things.. I doubt it will happen to me.. If it does, then I will take care of my responsibilities. Perhaps I should have listened to people who been there/done that instead of just being ignorant / in denial and only caring about satisfying stupid urges at that point in time.



With that being said, I dont have any regrets at all. Being a parent is awesome and I dont mind having a blue collar job.

 

[Temerit]

Did you use a condom and was she on the pill?



I'm young, so yes I'm going to display the mindset of the young.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

She said she was on the pill and yeah I did use a condom.. Although my memory is a little fuzzy.. It was a long time ago..



The pill is tricky though. They have to take it at exactly the same time every single day with no exceptions. They are only human so they will forget once in a while and probably deny the fact that it happened if questioned about it.

 

[Temerit]

She forgot to take it once, and she told me. (That might have been one of the last seven that were sugar pills though) She takes it at 3pm every day, a lot of the time I'm with her. She has it set on her phone where it vibrates and won't stop until she looks at it. I've seen the packaging, she told me the name of the pill (Lutera) so I know she is on the pill.