What's the most annoying thing someone can say to you as an introvert?

[pgn23]

"You should go out more often, it's good for you."

"You're not good at friendships."

"Why are you being so quiet?"


Also, if I do attend a party, I hate going with what I call - "the governor" (a person who has to mix and mingle with everybody at the event, leaving you alone to fend for yourself).

 

[passenger]

"Why are you being so quiet?"

This one.

 

[cowcatcher]

I find it funny (or, annoying) when they are surprised that I remember everything that was said, and they don't. Just because I don't talk doesn't mean I'm not present, and doesn't mean I don't enjoy listening.

I hate when they don't understand how exhausting it is for me to be in a situation where I have to be extroverted.

 

[riseabovethis]

"You should go out more often, it's good for you."

"You're not good at friendships."

"Why are you being so quiet?"


Also, if I do attend a party, I hate going with what I call - "the governor" (a person who has to mix and mingle with everybody at the event, leaving you alone to fend for yourself).

Do they know you're introverted? If not then they have no way of knowing why you behave that way so it's just random conversation based on what they know about you.

Yep, still stoned

 

[pgn23]

Do they know you're introverted? If not then they have no way of knowing why you behave that way so it's just random conversation based on what they know about you.

Yep, still stoned

I am not an introvert.

I am an extreme extrovert, but when I go to parties I do usually have a buddy if I don’t know the crowd to begin with. They usually know beforehand.

I try and understand introverts more.

 

[Dollhouse]

"Speak up!"

And yeah the "why are you so quiet?" question bores me to death

 

[riseabovethis]

Yes you can try

I am not an introvert.

I am an extreme extrovert, but when I go to parties I do usually have a buddy if I don’t know the crowd to begin with. They usually know beforehand.

I try and understand introverts more.

Yes, you can try to understand and that's about all. A lot of things have to be experienced and we're talking about psychology which has to be experienced to truly understand it. I can imagine what's it's like to go skydiving but until I do it I won't know what it's like. I have a mental illness and I couldn't explain it so someone could understand what it feels like. It doesn't bother me when someone makes not nice comments about the mentally ill, all it means is they don't understand mental illness at all.

Does anyone know where I put my pot?

 

[Daltonio]

"Tell me about yourself"

 

[freakofnature]

"Why are you so quiet?" and all its variations is probably the most annoying for me.

 

[MrDawn]

Do they know you're introverted?

Nope. For an introvert, I can be pretty chatty with people at work and go to holiday social events that my work throws. I mask how I feel most of the time. Because I mask, some people get this idea that I'm someone I'm not. I tend to keep a majority of people out of my personal life and it's hard to sustain real life friendships because of that. It's why I prefer to keep acquaintances.

 

[riseabovethis]

Nope. For an introvert, I can be pretty chatty with people at work and go to holiday social events that my work throws. I mask how I feel most of the time. Because I mask, some people get this idea that I'm someone I'm not. I tend to keep a majority of people out of my personal life and it's hard to sustain real life friendships because of that. It's why I prefer to keep acquaintances.

I am or was an introvert so i can understand your thinking and feelings. Being extroverted or introverted aren't absolutes, people's reactions can change depending on the situation we encounter. Have you ever read anything about being introverted or how to deal with it? I haven't. Just like you introversion doesn't kick in at work because we are surrounded by people we know. When I meet someone new at work it's uncomfortable until I get to know them so I turn extroverted and go talk to them and get it over with. For me any situation where there's no one I know all I do is observe until someone comes talk to me.

We can all mask our feelings and of course sociopaths are the best at it. I'm wondering how you came to this conclusion, "some people get this idea that I'm someone I'm not." I'm not sure how you'd know this without asking. These people are basing their impression of you from what you told them and assumptions and that's how we judge each other. For some people it's a lot of assumptions. When you mask you are keeping things from them so their impression of you is inaccurate all the time. Everyone's impression at work is inaccurate for me and would change quite drastically if I sad, "By the way do any of you know I have a mental illness." As for acquaintances the word trust comes to mind. Sorry I took so long, I have problems writing.

 

[pgn23]

It doesn't bother me when someone makes not nice comments about the mentally ill, all it means is they don't understand mental illness at all.

Agreed.

For an introvert, I can be pretty chatty with people at work and go to holiday social events that my work throws.

And I can relate to this. Sometimes I have been defined as an introverted extrovert.
I prefer to stay home, I prefer to be alone, but when I do go out and socialize I am the "life of the party" or "the glue" that keeps people talking.

It's confusing really.
Also, finding ways to Irish Goodbye is one of my strong suits.

 

[riseabovethis]

I find it funny (or, annoying) when they are surprised that I remember everything that was said, and they don't. Just because I don't talk doesn't mean I'm not present, and doesn't mean I don't enjoy listening.

I hate when they don't understand how exhausting it is for me to be in a situation where I have to be extroverted.

Have you ever told people you talk with that you're introverted and you're uncomfortable? Even if you did they wouldn't be able to understand it if they're not introverted. I'm thinking that when this happens you're masking your feelings and they can't tell you're uncomfortable. We all have the ability to mask things, some of us are better than others.

 

[MrDawn]

We can all mask our feelings and of course sociopaths are the best at it. I'm wondering how you came to this conclusion, "some people get this idea that I'm someone I'm not." I'm not sure how you'd know this without asking.

I caught a few people off guard when I couldn't keep up the act and started saying and doing things that they weren't expecting. When you're an atheist (non believer towards theism) and being forced to go to church by your family, masking in that environment is a great example. I was a closet atheist for years and when my Christian friends found out that I wasn't Christian like them, they ostracized me. Everything they thought they knew about me as this imaginary person who held Christian beliefs was no more. It went against everything they thought they knew about me because I had lied about my lack of beliefs for so long.

 

[Nebulous]

Worst thing someone can say to an introvert? ....ANYTHING. We just want to be left alone.

 

[riseabovethis]

"You should go out more often, it's good for you."

"You're not good at friendships."

"Why are you being so quiet?"


Also, if I do attend a party, I hate going with what I call - "the governor" (a person who has to mix and mingle with everybody at the event, leaving you alone to fend for yourself).

You're mentioning "the governor" is what led me to believe you were introverted. How did you come up with the term "the governor?" I can't even think of a term or phrase I used in the past that is synonymous with it. The term "social butterfly" is close however we only used it to describe women.

Agreed.



And I can relate to this. Sometimes I have been defined as an introverted extrovert.
I prefer to stay home, I prefer to be alone, but when I do go out and socialize I am the "life of the party" or "the glue" that keeps people talking.

It's confusing really.
Also, finding ways to Irish Goodbye is one of my strong suits.

When I learned the terms introvert and extrovert I thought a person was either one or the other. I didn't learn till later that there was an in between. It's like that for a lot of things because people have a tendency to only learn what they think they need to know. I had to look up Irish Goodbye, first time I heard the term. You should be more adventurous when you're leaving and think of an appropriate goodbye. I've used this, "Well I'm going to go. You people are so boring I've started watching the paint dry and I can do that at home."

 

[MrDawn]

You're mentioning "the governor" is what led me to believe you were introverted. How did you come up with the term "the governor?"

I think she means Arnold Schwarzenegger?

He is extremely social at parties and get togethers.

 

[riseabovethis]

I caught a few people off guard when I couldn't keep up the act and started saying and doing things that they weren't expecting. When you're an atheist (non believer towards theism) and being forced to go to church by your family, masking in that environment is a great example. I was a closet atheist for years and when my Christian friends found out that I wasn't Christian like them, they ostracized me. Everything they thought they knew about me as this imaginary person who held Christian beliefs was no more. It went against everything they thought they knew about me because I had lied about my lack of beliefs for so long.

Well it's obvious what happened, they didn't brainwash you enough. Literally. When we're born we have to be taught almost everything and it is brainwashing though not referred to or seen that way. When we start learning we take an adult's word as absolute truth because we can't question what we don't know. I was raised Roman Catholic, though not a church goer. When I was 9 or 10 I came across Spanish history that was about them conquering the Americas and slaughtering people in the name of God. Didn't take long and I was non-religious.
What happened that you began to question your religion?

Myself I see people as Sheep because we believe what we're told and a lot of people don't question it. I'm guessing you and your friends never spent much or any time around non-Christians since your friends couldn't fathom the concept that one of you would be non-Christian. You didn't lie, you didn't share because you expected that result and unfortunately you were write. I wonder how many of them changed their minds.

 

[riseabovethis]

"Speak up!"

And yeah the "why are you so quiet?" question bores me to death

Well that's a relief. I thought it was my question you only found boring

 

[pgn23]

You people are so boring I've started watching the paint dry and I can do that at home."

Lmao, this one made me giggle.