I`m 99.9% certain that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid
Off Topix: Embrace the Unexpected in Every Discussion
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Why do people say ”I saw it with my own eyes.” Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
Howdyyyyy
Hehe. I forgot to post my daily status updates. So, I finally remembered today.
Stupid asthma! I hate you!
Wherefore art thou, nail file?
I put it back on my desk. My blasted poncho may have knocked it off.
I put it back on my desk. My blasted poncho may have knocked it off.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person who ticked you off.
Whenever it’s a long story, it means they don’t want to tell you.
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.
If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated,” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single.”
People who say “I hate to bother you” need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
"Twinkle twinkle little skunk, how I wonder if you're drunk..."
Why is Friday closer to Monday than Monday is closer to Friday?
I have 222 notifications
woohoo!!!!!! The weekend is here!
Go Oilers