We have not been writing enough movie reviews around here, and that's something we're going to have to fix. Conveniently, the den of white nationalists and incubator of aspirational felons calling itself "Breitbart" is reimagining itself as a movie studio, and is pushing hard to promote a new "crowdfunded" film called My Son Hunter. It is a reimagining of the life of Hunter Biden as seen by the usual Republican hoax-boosters and professional smear merchants, and it's not yet been released but already most of the marketing campaign consists of outrage over the far-left internet conspiring, apparently very badly, to hide it from people.
This is a fantastic marketing scheme that all extremely crappy movies should mimic. It's not that audiences were not interested in partaking in something called "Morbin' time"; it's that an international cabal of elites intentionally kept Morbin' time from you so that you could not have it. If you claim this and your movie fails, claiming it only failed because of a worldwide conspiracy against you might salvage some fraction of your career. If the movie does well, and it turns out that everybody wants a little Morbin' time, then you can claim your inherent talent is simply so vast that not even Google or Taco Bell or the Goodyear blimp could stand against it.
Unfortunately, at the time of this review the drunken squirrels handling the movie's marketing over at Breitbart News And Tactical Gun Safe Emporium had not offered us an advance copy, so we're going to have to do the whole movie review just from what we can see in the trailer.
More fortunately, it's clear that the research that went into developing this particular flick flipped frequently between obsessive-compulsive ferreting out of minor details and the exact opposite of that. A good demonstration would be the film’s IMDB page, which at the time of this writing notes actress Jovana Stevic's role only as "Beau Wife."
This is, we choose to presume, because nobody marketing this lavish production at any point bothered to Google the name of Beau Biden's once-wife. The script may have gotten to that exact point, to the point of Googling "name of beau wife," before veering off into a new pile of cocaine; we can only be grateful, as film buffs, that the name of the character did not turn out to be Associated Press or Getty Images. Some of these things are hard. An entire movement has combed over the contents of Hunter Biden's laptop, or five laptops, or transforming monster truck made entirely of laptops, but "what is name beau wife" was one laptop too far.
But this saves us some time, because it shows us how accurate we have to be in our own review and the answer is mostly a sluggish meh. Whatever sounds good is what we should go with, don't sweat the details, and apostrophes are for try-hards. This is what Andrew Breitbart would have personally wanted, back before the company was pried from his corpse and turned into a Steve Bannon vehicle for promoting white supremacists and tiki-torch fascism..
If we don't need to concern ourselves with the details, then we don't even need to see the movie to review it. We can just Rudy Giuliani our way through this whole entire thing, caution to the wind, libel laws but a speck on the horizon....
www.dailykos.com
