Suicidal Members

[Olivia]

Have you ever come across a suicidal member on forum? What happened to them?

How do you talk to and deal with suicidal members usually? Send them resources? Offer your support? Maybe you can't think of anything to say to them?

 

[Webster]

How do you talk to and deal with suicidal members usually? Send them resources? Offer your support? Maybe you can't think of anything to say to them?

Stay with them; talk to them, get them a lifeline they can hang on to, like a crisis number or something.

 

[Kale]

Send resources via PM and then hope for the best. This is what I had been advised to do as a mod on one forum. We move the thread and/or posts to a hidden forum too.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

I've come across a few in my day. Its hard to figure out the right thing to say. I doubt they want to be sent a bunch of links and phone numbers so I just try to offer my sympathies and stick around to chat if they need a friend to talk to.

 

[Hulk's iconHulk]

I would always tell them I've been through the same and stay and talk to them. I've been very suicidal in the past. :/

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

I would always tell them I've been through the same and stay and talk to them. I've been very suicidal in the past. :/

Glad you didn't go through with it!

 

[PGen98]

I deal with suicidal ideation daily, to varying degrees, so when I see someone else who is struggling I reach out and try to relate. I know where they are, I know how they feel and I know that desire to let it all go. I link them to a page on TheLifeSpot where we've put together a lot of emergency resources and crisis lines (https://thelifespot.net/pages/urgent-support/), even though I strongly believe they don't do anything (absolutely useless when I used them), but knowing there's a line, a person to contact, can be helpful. Sometimes that's all it takes. Not always, but sometimes.

 

[fuzzems]

I am not qualified to really help someone. I would give them a message of support but direct them to professional help

 

[Kale]

I deal with suicidal ideation daily, to varying degrees, so when I see someone else who is struggling I reach out and try to relate. I know where they are, I know how they feel and I know that desire to let it all go. I link them to a page on TheLifeSpot where we've put together a lot of emergency resources and crisis lines (https://thelifespot.net/pages/urgent-support/), even though I strongly believe they don't do anything (absolutely useless when I used them), but knowing there's a line, a person to contact, can be helpful. Sometimes that's all it takes. Not always, but sometimes.

I never used it before but I honestly think it's good to have them around.

 

[PGen98]

I never used it before but I honestly think it's good to have them around.

Yeah, they do have a place and can help some people, no question. But it's not uncommon for these lines to not be helpful when you're right on the edge

 

[MrDawn]

I'm big on mental awareness and I don't think forums are a healthy or an appropriate place for people to announce that they're thinking about suicide or wanting to commit suicide. There's plenty of options outside of the Internet for that. I think if you're having those thoughts, definitely go see a therapist. If some people can't afford it, a lot of healthcare places will do it for free. They'll talk to you and give you the help and medication that is needed. I just don't think it's fair to dump that on some random person on the Internet who isn't trained to deal with the issue.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

I remember one time way back in the day (in my early days of forums) there was this member on a forum who claimed to be suicidal and then eventually went through with it. This person exclaimed they were really going to do it this time and then disappeared, leaving the rest of the members wondering if he actually did it or not. A month or two later this persons brother registered on the forum to let everyone know that the suicidal member did indeed take his own life. Everyone offered their sympathies, condolences and whatnot.

.....Turned out the "suicidal member" and the "brother" were the same person. Nobody commited suicide and this person was just a troll. I always thought that was a horrible thing to do. Even so, when a member claims to be suicidal you have to take it seriously because they could actually be telling the truth.

 

[PGen98]

I remember one time way back in the day (in my early days of forums) there was this member on a forum who claimed to be suicidal and then eventually went through with it. This person exclaimed they were really going to do it this time and then disappeared, leaving the rest of the members wondering if he actually did it or not. A month or two later this persons brother registered on the forum to let everyone know that the suicidal member did indeed take his own life. Everyone offered their sympathies, condolences and whatnot.

.....Turned out the "suicidal member" and the "brother" were the same person. Nobody commited suicide and this person was just a troll. I always thought that was a horrible thing to do. Even so, when a member claims to be suicidal you have to take it seriously because they could actually be telling the truth.

That's disgusting. One of my friends from a forum jumped off of a building, and I know it to be true because the next day there was a news report all about how his body was robbed while he was still bleeding to death on the sidewalk. Some dipshit stole his wallet and phone and left him there bleeding. He got caught and arrested, but I found out because the article named him, and he has a very unique name. Was awful. For people to fake it, to try and troll people like that, is just revolting.

 

[MrDawn]

when a member claims to be suicidal you have to take it seriously because they could actually be telling the truth.

Truth or not, I would just do what most forums do. Delete their post and send them a message to seek medical attention or suicide prevention in there area. People who are real serious about it are going to do it no matter what. Even if you do or don't call their bluff and they do it, it's not your fault. That's on them.

 

[PGen98]

Truth or not, I would just do what most forums do. Delete their post and send them a message to seek medical attention or suicide prevention in there area. People who are real serious about it are going to do it no matter what. Even if you do or don't call their bluff and they do it, it's not your fault. That's on them.

If I was going through a bout and I reached out saying I was on the verge, you'd delete my post and say go elsewhere? What if the only thing they need is a friendly word from someone to know they cared? I know it can seem like attention seeking, and for some it is, but there are those of us who go through real, legitimate, repeated bouts of suicidal ideation and despair. It happens to me frequently, and sometimes yes I do reach out looking for someone, anyone just to care for a second. If I reached out and was met with a go get help type of response, I wouldn't think twice. I have the means, I have the desire, I just need that human factor, that one thing to bring me back a bit and then I can reel it back into just plain old depression. Don't be so quick to turn people away when it comes to suicide, those who struggle with suicidal ideation need understanding and compassion, not cast aside.

 

[Webster]

.....Turned out the "suicidal member" and the "brother" were the same person. Nobody commited suicide and this person was just a troll. I always thought that was a horrible thing to do. Even so, when a member claims to be suicidal you have to take it seriously because they could actually be telling the truth.

That is cold as fuck for someone to do.

 

[MrDawn]

If I was going through a bout and I reached out saying I was on the verge, you'd delete my post and say go elsewhere?

I used to have suicidal thoughts myself and it's just something you have to overcome on your own. I got passed all of that. I realized one major thing. No one else can help you. The only person that can help you, IS YOU. No one can stop you BUT YOU. You have to want to live FOR YOU. It really and truly is an individual decision.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

That is cold as fuck for someone to do.

Sure is. I’ve seen worse behavior online though. The internet can be a cesspool of toxicity ….but also it can be amazing and uplifting at the same time. I suppose it just depends on who you surround yourself with and where you spend your time.

 

[MrDawn]

That is cold as fuck for someone to do.

Speaking of that. I've had 2 different ex girlfriends threaten me with suicide after the break up if I didn't take them back. I said "You go right ahead."

I have just as much of a right to live my life as anyone else. I don't have to take someone back or keep someone in my life just because they pull the "suicide card". Threatening suicide to manipulate people isn't fair, it's immoral, and it's bullshit. It is absolutely disgusting to play someone like that.

 

[fuzzems]

I think the best thing to do if someone threatens is to call the Police or 911 and then that person can be taken in for a 72 hr hold. I mean, if someone verbalizes it, you don't know if they are serious or not. If they are, they will get proper help. If not, they will then not be saying that again knowing your are going to call for immediate help. I mean that is what I think would be wise to do in one's personal life. For online stuff, I would assume that something would be reported to the Board Administrators and support? Not sure