Been There Done That

[Jazzy]

Ever meet a person that no matter what the topic is, they have been there done that, but they have done all the same things better than you? If so, why do you think they act this way?

 

[Evil Eye]

Been here done this

Actually, no, I don't really.

 

[Jazzy]

I have met such a person on a forum. No matter what I or anyone else posts, they reply they have been there and done the same thing. Then act arrogant that they did the same thing but only better than us. How the hell is it even humanly possible that this person has done and been everywhere we have?

 

[Evil Eye]

...well... if you managed to go everywhere you went then another person should be able to have gone there too and have done the same thing, right?

 

[Cranos]

No, not really. I sometimes react with a typical been there, done that statement but I don't claim I did it better. Usually the conversation is about a certain event anyway, for example a failed oral exam, so not something you could turn into a competition. I also don't really know someone like that.

 

[Jazzy]

...well... if you managed to go everywhere you went then another person should be able to have gone there too and have done the same thing, right?

I doubt it since the person doing it doesn't even live in the US where I do. Nevermind that, what are the odds that another person has done/been everywhere you have?

 

[beowulf]

on a forum yes............everything any one had done he had done it bigger, better, faster.........it was obvious that he was just a bullshitter and an attention whore and now even 2 years after he left the forum one of his threads still pops up when one of us regulars decide to bump it and make some outlandish inflated claim just for fun

 

[Evil Eye]

I doubt it since the person doing it doesn't even live in the US where I do. Nevermind that, what are the odds that another person has done/been everywhere you have?

Probably pretty good considering the amount of people in the world. The odds of meeting that one person would be infinitesimal though.

 

[Jazzy]

on a forum yes............everything any one had done he had done it bigger, better, faster.........it was obvious that he was just a bullshitter and an attention whore and now even 2 years after he left the forum one of his threads still pops up when one of us regulars decide to bump it and make some outlandish inflated claim just for fun

Sounds exactly like the same person but this one is still around. Must say it's very annoying but also funny in a way. If I say I caught a 5 lb fish, well he caught a 12 lb fish. If I say it took me 2 years to learn something, he learned the same thing in 3 months.

 

[beowulf]

dont think its the same person unless he nearly dies after crashing his aston martin at 140mph and spent 3 months in a coma but made a miraculous recovery after his gf nursed him in the hospital

 

[Nebulous]

Ah the classic 1-Up'er.

 

[Jazzy]

Smooth, that sounds like the person I know too! The one I know, however, also puts down the US every chance he gets. When asked to back up these idiotic statements with FACT, he then has nothing to say. Don't understand people like this that are bigger, better, faster, smarter and when backed into a corner become mute.

 

[Australia]

I've met a few people like that, no matter what you have done, or what you own, they always have one better. It doesn't bother me because i know they are making half of it up.

 

[Durandal]

I've known and encountered a few people like that. As Nebulous mentions, it's the simple 1-Upper. I think there is even a psychological syndrome for someone who does that, but the name escapes me right now. They basically build up an unchallenged mountain of bullshit they think they are king/queen of, and keep piling it on as soon they believe all the stuff they pulled out of a dark, dank hole. Unfortunately, what tends to enable this is people not challenging them (often because of ignorance or simply being naive and believing it). Their true colours show when someone with the truth confronts them, and like you've said Jazzy, often they disappear/become 'mute'. Reminds me a bit of a fellow I discussed in another thread. It's basically the World Champion of Pissing Contests type of person. You go 1 metre, he'll claim three, and so on.



I think it is important to recognise EE's remarks, too. The flipside of this - is there is likely someone out there that HAS done everything you have done and quite possibly better. Humble Pie is as good for the goose as it is for the gander, so taking into consideration that very well one's own accomplishments could very well be completely overshadowed by someone else is a fair one. Holding people to their claims is the best way to ensure credibility. Sometimes when things cross a certain threshold, people have to put up or shut up.

 

[Rapunzel]

I've known and encountered a few people like that. As Nebulous mentions, it's the simple 1-Upper. I think there is even a psychological syndrome for someone who does that, but the name escapes me right now. They basically build up an unchallenged mountain of bullshit they think they are king/queen of, and keep piling it on as soon they believe all the stuff they pulled out of a dark, dank hole. Unfortunately, what tends to enable this is people not challenging them (often because of ignorance or simply being naive and believing it). Their true colours show when someone with the truth confronts them, and like you've said Jazzy, often they disappear/become 'mute'. Reminds me a bit of a fellow I discussed in another thread. It's basically the World Champion of Pissing Contests type of person. You go 1 metre, he'll claim three, and so on.



I think it is important to recognise EE's remarks, too. The flipside of this - is there is likely someone out there that HAS done everything you have done and quite possibly better. Humble Pie is as good for the goose as it is for the gander, so taking into consideration that very well one's own accomplishments could very well be completely overshadowed by someone else is a fair one. Holding people to their claims is the best way to ensure credibility. Sometimes when things cross a certain threshold, people have to put up or shut up.

I agree with this. I also think there is a third option. Sometimes that person likes and admires you and wishes they were just like you. They think if they can be and do all the wonderful things that you are and that you do, then you will like and admire them too.



So often at school a child will say so-and-so is copying me or following me around and I don't like it. I tell them it's because that person actually likes them and wants to be like them and wants to be their friend. The first child then stops shouting at the second child and telling them to go away and instead starts playing with them and so finds a new friend.



This behaviour so often carries over into adulthood. Adults who become petty or bitchy or snide or rude, it's all basic playground behaviour, just in adults. And, tbh, this type of behaviour usually applies to poorly educated adults who still have that playground mentality and who may have grown up physically, but not mentally.



It boils down to jealousy. If someone is jealous of you, they they will copy you, try to be like you, to outdo you. In that way you will look up to them and admire them. They want you to like them as much as they secretly like you. If you reject them, laugh at them, mock them, then their jealousy explodes into vengefullness and they will be hateful and spiteful back to get back at you because you hurt them.



With the children in the playground, a child will say Well why do they like me? What's so special about me? And I'll tell them it could be anything. They might like your nice smile or your happy laugh, they might like how kind you are to people or how you always have funny stories to tell, they might like your pretty hair or the pretty hairbands you wear. It could be something that's very small but it has attracted someone and they admire you for it and want to be your friend.



Even as adults we are attracted to people and I don't mean in a sexual way. Someone might have a great sense of humour and they make you laugh and you wish that they were one of your friends that you could joke around with. They might be really kind to everyone and call them nice names Hello sweetie, honey, darling, pumpkin, whatever, and you want them to be nice to you to. They make you happy when you see them. It's the same in one-upmanship. They want your respect and your admiration. Accept them and they will be all over you like a rash because they like you sooo much and haven't learned to calm their feelings down to a more acceptable adult level. Refuse them and they will wreak their vengeance on you and their enmity can be scary. Just my opinion.

 

[Durandal]

I agree with this. I also think there is a third option. Sometimes that person likes and admires you and wishes they were just like you. They think if they can be and do all the wonderful things that you are and that you do, then you will like and admire them too.

lol, I can't do anything wonderful, but I don't think this was the case with the folks I've dealt with.

So often at school a child will say so-and-so is copying me or following me around and I don't like it. I tell them it's because that person actually likes them and wants to be like them and wants to be their friend. The first child then stops shouting at the second child and telling them to go away and instead starts playing with them and so finds a new friend.

When this happened to me aeons ago when I was a little tyke - it was usually because of antagonism. It was a form of mockery - as in the person was copying me, or another person in proximity to mock us and had no interest in playing with us (this is bringing back hillarious memories of how petty other children and I were at a young age lol - makes me feel like an idiot now).

With the children in the playground, a child will say Well why do they like me? What's so special about me? And I'll tell them it could be anything. They might like your nice smile or your happy laugh, they might like how kind you are to people or how you always have funny stories to tell, they might like your pretty hair or the pretty hairbands you wear. It could be something that's very small but it has attracted someone and they admire you for it and want to be your friend.

From my experience, typically the kids that wanted to play/interact with you they either stood quietly, probing the periphery of whatever social clique you were apart of - hoping to be noticed and accepted, or they'd actually do the opposite of the discussion here, they would feign a sort of ignorance in order to be included - or at least pretend to like everything you did and whatever happened was awesome.

They want your respect and your admiration. Accept them and they will be all over you like a rash because they like you sooo much and haven't learned to calm their feelings down to a more acceptable adult level. Refuse them and they will wreak their vengeance on you and their enmity can be scary. Just my opinion.

LOL - this reminds me of this kid who would scream and get angry and come up with absurd stories if you didn't play with him or do what he wanted - he literally said (and this was before terrorism was such the catchword it is today): If you don't play with me, then I'm telling Mr. Smith you're a terrorist.

 

[Cranos]

From what I've read here it seems to me they're overcompensating for the lack of having an interesting life and probably have a bad image of themselves. I could be wrong though, as I mentioned before I haven't had contact with such a person.