Fair or not fair?

[JennyorAlice]

Okay, I saw this question posted on Facebook today......

If a woman has kids and a man shows up for a date with dinner for 2, should the man be expected to pay for food for the kids as well?


This is my opinion and let me just say that this is coming from a female......

First of all, if the woman doesn't tell the man about the kids in the first place then "no".

Second of all, how many women do you know that take their kids with them when they go out on an actual date? I've never seen a woman do it. So, why would you expect a man to pay for your kids meal as well as your own?

Now, if the relationship progress' to the point that the guy is willing to take care of the kids, regardless if they are his or not, then that's a different conversation. But if you guys are just in the dating stage, especially if it's the first date then I say "no".

 

[MrDawn]

If a woman has kids and a man shows up for a date with dinner for 2, should the man be expected to pay for food for the kids as well?

If a woman lied to me like this. I'd be out. It would look to me that she wants a free meal for herself and her kids. I'm not a very charitable person to begin with. When someone is lying to me to get what they want. I'm definitely not going to give it to them. I'll ask for proof. I'm not stupid. Especially when I have two kids of my own that I'm currently taking care of.

I've had women lie about their pictures too online and they're not very attractive in person. They always use too many filters on their phone and it makes them look like a model when they're not in real life. That's deceptive.

Second of all, how many women do you know that take their kids with them when they go out on an actual date?

Most of the girls I date don't want me around their kids on the very first date. They say they want to wait a month at least before they introduce me to them. They don't know what kind of person I am. So they call a babysitter. However one girl had me around her son after the first 2 dates. But then we ended it things. I just wasn't as interested or attracted to her. So I moved on.

 

[Laifot]

No kids on the first date, remember it's a matter of time, you have know little by little, also i think it's kinda bad to show up with your kids to someone you don't know, what happens if the guy is some kind of sicko that if things don't go well he might do something to the kids?

 

[JennyorAlice]

I agree also with what @Terminated said. The woman shouldn't be using the man to get a free meal for her children. If you are going to have the guy over for a date, you should hire a babysitter and let them deal with your kids. Your kids shouldn't be his problem, especially if this is the very first date.

Now, if the guy offers to pony up and pay for food for your kids, then you should be sure to say "thank you" and let him know how much you appreciate the offer (and really mean it). But you shouldn't expect that from a man you just met.

 

[Ashlynn S]

Second of all, how many women do you know that take their kids with them when they go out on an actual date?

I think that sums it up right there.

Assuming that it is not an actual date date, but something where both people know that the kids are going to be there, then that's a whole different thing already.

 

[JennyorAlice]

I think that sums it up right there.

Assuming that it is not an actual date date, but something where both people know that the kids are going to be there, then that's a whole different thing already.

I know. Normally, when a guy and a girl go on an actual date date, you don't bring your kids with you. Any decent person isn't going to let some random stranger meet their kids on the first date. So, expecting them to buy their kids a meal shouldn't even come up to begin with.

 

[Ashlynn S]

Any decent person isn't going to let some random stranger meet their kids on the first date.

Exactly! ?

 

[Demon_skeith]

I'd listen to their story why kids are suddenly showing up, maybe go half on the bill but I would lose a lot of faith in the woman if they did that.

 

[JennyorAlice]

I'd listen to their story why kids are suddenly showing up, maybe go half on the bill but I would lose a lot of faith in the woman if they did that.

No woman is going to show up, on the first date with a guy she doesn't know, and ask the guy to buy dinner for her children. One, no woman is going to let a guy she's just meeting for the first time, suddenly meet her kids. She's going to get to know the guy first before introducing the kids to him. So, asking the guy to feed her kids on the first date is out of the question.

 

[Ash]

They are going to have to have a pretty good reason as to why her kids are on our first date. I'm not sure I could leave right away but I definitely would not be paying for the kids. That's on her since that's not what we agreed to in the first place.

 

[KO896]

Was it agreed upon in the first place that the man would pay at all? I know when I was younger that it was assumed that the man would pay but does that still hold true today?

If a woman showed up with her kids and it wasn't agreed upon then before they even enter the restaurant the conversation needs to be had on who would pay. If that woman is so irresponsible to not even talk about this prior then why would the man even want to continue any relationship with her?

 

[JennyorAlice]

Was it agreed upon in the first place that the man would pay at all? I know when I was younger that it was assumed that the man would pay but does that still hold true today?

If a woman showed up with her kids and it wasn't agreed upon then before they even enter the restaurant the conversation needs to be had on who would pay. If that woman is so irresponsible to not even talk about this prior then why would the man even want to continue any relationship with her?

That use to be the thing when I was dating but I've been married 20 years (as of next month).

But I agree with you. I think that if the woman shows up at the first date with her kids without talking to the guy about it prior to the date then I wouldn't trust her with other stuff in the future.

 

[Demon_skeith]

No woman is going to show up, on the first date with a guy she doesn't know, and ask the guy to buy dinner for her children. One, no woman is going to let a guy she's just meeting for the first time, suddenly meet her kids. She's going to get to know the guy first before introducing the kids to him. So, asking the guy to feed her kids on the first date is out of the question.

I'm sure there are some out there who sink so low.

 

[Jazzy]

If a woman has kids and a man shows up for a date with dinner for 2, should the man be expected to pay for food for the kids as well?

This sentence confuses me. Where is he showing up and where did he get the dinner for 2?

 

[JennyorAlice]

I'm sure there are some out there who sink so low.

Well, my standards aren't.

This sentence confuses me. Where is he showing up and where did he get the dinner for 2?

If memory serves me right, I saw someone post that same question on Facebook. I just posted that question here out of curiosity.

Anyway, I thought the guy was showing up at the girls' house with the food in hand. Or rather that's what I had assumed.

 

[Jazzy]

Anyway, I thought the guy was showing up at the girls' house with the food in hand.

That's what I thought too. In that case, how do we know the kids are even there? Perhaps she arranged for someone ( Grandparents, a friend, etc.) to watch the kids overnight so she and her date wouldn't be interrupted.

 

[JennyorAlice]

If it were me, I would have scheduled the date when the kid(s) were having a sleep over at a friends house or spending the night at their grandparents or staying at the babysitters house (instead of the babysitter coming to my house).

If something happens and the kids can't go to their friends house or to their grandparents or to the babysitters for whatever reason, I would have called the guy before he showed up to inform him of what had occurred. That way, we could reschedule things or at least there wouldn't be any surprises going on.

 

[Shavkat]

I guess it depends of what culture they are practicing. It is best not to have a date with parents.