Forgive and Forget

[Jazzy]

Is it even possible to truly forgive and forget hurtful acts that have been committed against us?



Are you able to forgive and forget?



Are you able to forgive but never forget?



Are you the type of person who will never forgive and forget?



Discuss....

 

[DrLeftover]

I don't know.

 

[Jazzy]

This is going to sound bad to some but I don't care as I'm telling you the truth. If a person hurts me for no reason, then I cannot and will not ever forgive or forget. I kill that person in my mind and never think about them again. Once a person hurt me so badly that I sent them a sympathy card!

I don't need hurtful people in my life and surround myself with people I know would never, ever, never hurt me. These people are called true friends and I'm blessed to have many in my life.

 

[DrLeftover]

I don't go that far.



I have been 'hurt' by people who, if I were the type to react emotionally, it would have been devistating to me.



And we are talking about life changing events of intentional evil.



In one case, it cost me a job.



But instead of screaming at them, or getting violent, or even crying about it, or anything that way, I just looked at them, and walked away.



I've done that three times that I can easily remember.



And one of them later told me that my lack of response told them just how wrong they had been toward me more than anything I could have said at the time.



As for 'forgiveness', in situations like that, that's God's job. To me, it isn't over yet. When it is, I will consider forgiving them.



Another person who wronged me I did forgive. And it was on that scale.



He died in 2006. I forgave him shortly thereafter.



As for the minor stuff- you parked in my parking space.... I don't even regard that as worthy of notice as, to me, it doesn't matter in the long run.

 

[Fatal Dawn]

Does this happen to anyone where they blame themselves? I feel that even when I do nothing wrong I get mad at myself instead of the person.



I don't know if it could be considered extreme treatment but my life is spelled h-u-r-t.



I remember in particular there was a teacher that really discouraged me by picking on my physical illness which I had no control over. He would separate me from the rest of my classmates and make it look like he was berating me. I had almost given up when I was told that I would never be anything in life. Instead of placing any blame on him I kept it to myself and just kept smiling. When some kids would bully me or said nasty things to me - calling me racist names and shouting racist things I would always forgive them and would never forgive myself for whatever reason..

 

[Skillet]

Everybody makes mistakes. Many people deserve a second chance. Many; not all. Depending on what it is, I may be able to forgive. Forgetting is sometimes tougher.

 

[Cranos]

I forgive and forget most of the time. Even with the heavy stuff like a friend stealing my girlfriend and an ex of mine that cheated on me, I just stop caring about it after a while.

 

[Jazzy]

Does this happen to anyone where they blame themselves? I feel that even when I do nothing wrong I get mad at myself instead of the person.



I don't know if it could be considered extreme treatment but my life is spelled h-u-r-t.



I remember in particular there was a teacher that really discouraged me by picking on my physical illness which I had no control over. He would separate me from the rest of my classmates and make it look like he was berating me. I had almost given up when I was told that I would never be anything in life. Instead of placing any blame on him I kept it to myself and just kept smiling. When some kids would bully me or said nasty things to me - calling me racist names and shouting racist things I would always forgive them and would never forgive myself for whatever reason..

This really hurt me to read because it brought back bad memories. I also was picked on, bullied and told I would never be anything in my life. I was called trailer trash just because my dad was in the military and the base housing was a trailer park. I was spit on and laughed at. You know what, Fatal Dawn, I thank all these people now who did and said what they did to me. It made me a fighter and I was out to prove them all wrong. I've done that and I'm proud of it! Never let words or actions stop you from being who you are. Never give in to them as they will win. You know they are wrong about you so lift your head up high and prove them wrong like I did!

 

[Bluezone777]

I tend to forgive but not forget. To forget is to ask for history to repeat itself which is outright foolish to allow to happen but to not forgive is to allow hate to rule you and hate in the end destroys everything including those who hate. Those who do bad things are mostly doing them to satisfy the lust for money that knows no end or because they themselves are ruled by hate. You get out of life what you put out so only put out what you want in return or you will not be happy. That's what I think anyway.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

I think it is possible to forgive and forget. My daughter's mom did a lot of things that really hurt me when we were together and after we broke up. Now that 7 years have passed, I haven't even thought of those things until this thread was posted. We get along just fine & the stuff from the past stays there.

 

[~Ace~]

You learn to forgive others when you yourself know the feeling of remorse & guilt of hurting others. Well, of course you can't forget things that hurt you a lot easily, but you can always just let it go.



I say if the person who hurts you has no remorse, he/she can piss off, but if they do, even an itty-bitty speck of it, then they should be forgiven.



None of us here is a perfectly goody two shoes that we refuse to forgive. Sometimes forgiveness is better than holding a grudge.